


Disaster Hearts

by ClimbingClassy



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Climbing Class, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Gore, Paranoia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Wendigo!Josh, wendigo recovery au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-21 03:59:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4814132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClimbingClassy/pseuds/ClimbingClassy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The epilogue nobody asked for, but everyone needs. Josh deserved better and bygod I'm gonna give him better.</p><p>"Disaster has a way of remaking our hearts. Long after all the thunder and scar, days pass and bit by bit we begin to restart our disaster hearts." </p><p>Chris goes back for his best friend who'd been left in the mines. It's not too late to salvage what was once his closest companion. Together they work towards what they once had and even more. Chris works on getting Josh the help he needs, and Josh works on getting back to the guy Chris knew and loved. </p><p>There will be many angst and fluff filled chapters so strap in!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was so cold down there in the mine . Chris' breath clouded in front of him with every exhale. His cold-numbed fingers curled tightly around the shaft of his flashlight, sweeping the beam slowly side to side. His heart beat louder in his ears than the echoing footsteps of him and the rescue party. Four other men made up the team . They wore bullet proof vests with radios attached to their shoulders.  A lot of good that'll do them,  Chris thought. Each was equipped with a gun as well as a small flame thrower and helmets with flashlights mounted on top, all except Chris. He only had his flashlight and his fleeting  sense  of hope , so he kept to the middle of the group.

He never wanted to come back here. Chris had hoped to never see this place again. It had only been a few weeks and already he was back in the bowels of the mine. Every logical fiber in his being was screaming at him to leave. Every moment they were down here the more danger they were in, but regardless of how he felt he couldn't leave. Josh was still down here, or so he hoped. 

The beam of their flashlights reflected off of wet walls and icicles and cast odd shadows all around . Shapes seems to move along the walls and played tricks on the imagination.  Sound echoed oddly down here to; it seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. It was easy to get lost down here. It hurt Chris to think about Josh being down here all alone for days. There was no way Josh could've made it out of here on his own, especially with the state his mind was in. 

Chris thought back to the last time he'd seen his best friend . He'd been  crazy, babbling nonsense and he'd had this wild look in his eyes, like he wasn't all there. Regret cut Chris deeper than the cold. He should've listened to Josh when he said he didn't hurt Jess. Josh had never hurt anyone before, he hadn't even really meant to hurt any of them  that badly in his sick game. Josh wouldn't kill Jess. Chris knew that. He'd known Josh for years; he was his best friend, but he didn't say anything. Why'd he let Mike tie him up outside? They could've tied him up in the basement or to any of the support beams in the cabin, so why'd they take him outside? Truthfully, they hadn't known about the wendigos. Otherwise things might've been different. Still, it didn't change the fact that Chris  felt  guilty for Josh's disappearance. He should've talked to Josh before any of this could've happened;  he'd  noticed that Josh was acting weird a few weeks before but he hadn't said anything. If something was really wrong Josh would've told him, right? At least that's what he'd thought.  Would any of this have happened if he had talked to Josh before all of this started?

A sound drifted towards them from deeper within the mine. It sounded distant yet  close  and froze them all where they stood. The hairs on Chris' neck stood up. It was entirely possible that it was just the wind howling through empty mine shafts, but after all he'd seen Chris wasn't so sure. It pulled his  mind out of the past and back to the present. 

They swept the cavern with their lights. There was nothing. The silence was unsettling and set Chris on edge. 

Part of him hoped that Josh had died, and hoped it was a quick, painless death . It'd be better than the alternative. He could imagine Josh  stumbling through these chambers crying for help, begging for somebody, anybody, to help him. Chris shook his head to clear his mind of the thought. The team around him began moving again. The sound of their footsteps echoed off the ceiling and the walls making it sound like there was fifty men instead of five. 

They'd already searched the part of the mines nearest the cabin and where the radio tower had fallen, but still no sign of Josh. Would they even find Josh, and if they did would he still be himself? Chris wasn't certain and that scared him. He was hardly himself the last time he'd seen him. The mines were so huge it was impossible to search all of it. Chris' throat tightened at the thought of having to leave Josh down here forever. Sure, what Josh did was  seriously  messed up but he was sick; he didn't deserve to die because of it. Especially not in  that  way. 

"Hold on," one of the men up front called out. He held up his hand signal ing  for them all to ha lt . Chris looked from one man to the other. They were scared like he was, but their fear was from uncertainty. Chris' was from experience. "Listen. Do you hear that?" 

Water dripped from the ceiling. Somewhere a support beam groaned . Everything was eerily silent. Chris opened his mouth to speak but stopped. He  had  heard something. It was almost too soft to hear but he definitely heard it; a gurgling, growl- like sound. It came from a path that appeared to lead  towards the sanatorium, according to the map . 

Chris turned the beam of his light in that direction and nodded. They approached the noise.  Josh buddy, if you're down here, now would be a good time to show up,  Chris thought. 

The cavern narrowed into a tunnel so small they had to walk in single file. Chris dragged his hand along the wall. It was slick and cold. 

The sound grew louder the further they moved down the tunnel. Even then, it still wasn't that loud, but it was close. Chris could feel his heart rate rising with every step. Their steps crunched over splintered wood and small stones. If they were lucky, it'd be Josh. If they were unlucky...well, Chris didn't want to think about that. 

The tunnel began to widen out into another cavernous area. They swept their flashlights over the entranceway. Chris could've sworn he saw one of the rock sway back and forth, but it could've been a trick of the light.

"Hey, we found someone." It wasn't a trick of the light, it was a person.  It was Josh.  Chris started at the sight and managed a step in his direction before stumbling back as if he'd received a physical blow. At least it felt like a physical blow, a punch directly to the gut . What was once his best friend turned around and released the most inhuman shriek he'd ever heard. Chris was horrified to the point of disbelief.  No.

Josh was crouched on the floor, clutching the bloodied remains of...someone with nails as long and as jagged as claws . His eyes were glazed over with a milky white film and he had cuts and bruises all over his face. The left side of his mouth was torn almost all of the way through his cheek and his teeth were jagged and sharp and protruding from his mouth. Dried blood and bits of  flesh were encrusted around his lips . He was turning. 

Chris suddenly felt sick. This thing was his best friend once. Now he was  a monster. Josh was becoming a wendigo. 

"Stand back!" one of the men yelled as he shouldered his way in front of Chris, aiming his weapon  at Josh. Whether it was his torch or his gun, Chris couldn't tell. He reacted immediately.

"No! That's  my friend!" Chris cried as recklessly he stepped in front of the man, grappling with him for the weapon. Josh screeched and lunged forward. Chris had time to look over as his shoulder erupted in searing pain. Claws tore at his coat as Josh's teeth tore into his flesh.  


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris has managed to leave the mine with his best friend finally, but is Josh even Josh anymore? He's well on his way to becoming a wendigo and Chris isn't sure if he can be saved. But best friends are best friends 'til the end. Chris defies the law and kidnaps his best friend. He has no plan and no idea what to do with his wendigo friend, so he'll make it up as he goes.

Two men rushed Josh from the sides,  taking hold of  his arms and  forcing  him back.  In the struggle he  landed a solid kick to Chris' shin, sending him  collapsing to the ground. He caught himself on his hands, scraping them on rough stone and wood splinters. The jolt of the impact had Chris crying out in agony , his shoulder throbbed with  searing, white hot pain from where Josh's teeth had sunken deep into his flesh. 

Josh thrashed violently , kicking and throwing his head  from side to side  as he opened his mouth in  unearthly, head-splitting shrieks. He strained in his captor's grasp, teeth gnashing and snapping. The two men twisted his arms behind him, trying to keep him from moving to o  much but he kept wiggling around, boots sliding in the dirt and grime of the cavern  floor.

Chris looked up just in time to see one of the  others  had drawn their gun. Before he could protest the trigger was pulled. Josh's body slumped back from the force. His head lolled forward. He  seemed  momentarily stunned. 

Chris stumbled forward, his leg protesting against his weight.  _No. No nononono, Josh_.  Chris wanted to call out but the words clumped together, creating a lump that lodged in his throat and made  it hard to breath . Tears collected in the corner of his eyes before spilling over. Which pain caused them, the one in his leg or his shoulder or his heart,  he  couldn't tell. Josh had been hit square in the chest. Chris waited for a crimson bloom out from the wound, but none did. Instead, something  protruded  from the wound. 

He'd  been shot with a tranquilizer dart. 

Josh's shoulders slumped, his head rolling back and forth. He jerked once, twice more before he stilled. He'd stopped kicking, his legs instead gave out beneath him. A gurgle-like sound came from his mouth as the men lowered him to the ground. They proceeded to secure his hands and legs with rope they had stored in their  packs. Chris was caught somewhere between crying and laughing hysterically. Josh was still human enough for a tranquilizer to work. There was hope.

"Get him up, we gotta go," one of them ordered. As if to add emphasis to his words, a hair raising  scream carried on the chilled air. Chris knew what that meant, but he wish he didn't.  More were coming. 

He offered to help carry Josh, but his request was waved away. He resorted to limping close behind. His leg still ached and his shoulder was still oozing blood. He grimaced at the explosion of pain that came when he pressed a hand against it to stop the bleeding. Chris followed the line  created by  Josh's shoes scraping against the ground as he was dragged. His eyes slowly lifted until they rested on his tied up hands. They were covered in dirt  and dried blood and his nails were long, jagged and broken at the tips.  Every so often his fingers twitched.

_ Can't tie 'em up if they just wiggle around.  _ _Leave me a little wiggle room, huh?_   The memory surfaced before Chris could stop it and it tore at him. He could even hear Josh's voice. 

"I'm sorry man. I'm so so sorry," Chris mumbled under his breath. Josh didn't deserve this. 

The entrance of the mine must be getting close, Chris judged, based on how the tunnel was gradually brightening  up around them. Chris could now see his own blood covering his hand without the help of the flashlight.  The sight made him queasy. The sooner he could sit down and catch his breath and leave all of this behind-- for good-- the  better. 

Fate, however, wasn't so kind. Just when he thought that it all might finally be over a shuffling sound came from behind him. He swung around with his light and the beam fell on reflective eyes. His stomach plummeted  to the floor. Wendigos. 

He remembered all too clearly what wendigos could do. For a split second the image of the stranger's decapitated head came to mind. In his imagination it morphed into Josh's and then, even worse, his own. Fear threatened to take over his senses. His mind told him to run, but logic told him not to move. 

"Stay perfectly still," Chris spoke slowly, his voice wavered. The wendigo crawled closer on grotesque, elongated limbs. Another scampered close behind. Their s tretched out flesh and contorted faces were sickening to look at. This is what Josh would become. Chris' stomach almost threatened to betray him; he felt bile rising in his throat. 

Everyone seemed to be holding their breath, or at least Chris couldn't hear anyone else breathing over the pounding of his own heart in his ears. A sharp odor assaulted his nose. One of the men must've pissed themselves in fear.

 Ever so slowly the man in front of Chris lifted his flame thrower with shaking hands. A few more feet and the wendigos would be within reach. That, or they'd be within the wendigo's reach. Chris, however preferred to be an optimist. One more step...

Flames erupted in front of him, the sudden brightness momentarily blinding him. The wendigos screamed and leapt back,  scittering  up the walls and clinging to the roof. They wouldn't stay back for long. 

"Roger, take the boys and head back to the cable car. We'll collapse the entrances once we're done  here."

Without a second thought he obeyed.  Chris changed places with one of the men who'd been holding Josh, supporting him with his good arm and wincing at the pain as he was forced to carry more weight on his bad leg. They turned and began an  awkward shuffle down the remainder of the tunnel. He could see the entrance up ahead. Safety was so close. 

_Don't look back. Don't look back._   Chris repeated to himself as he shouldered Josh's weight. The wendigos' screeching and hissing seemed to be right in his ear and his heart beat  quickened, forcing him onward. The heat of flames behind him warmed his neck. Josh was heavier than he'd thought and he was more exhausted and injured than he wanted to be, but they were so close . 

They practically fell out of the entrance . The sun reflecting on the snow blinded him but Chris continued stumbling forward, even though his knees were weak with relief. A laugh bubbled up in his throat but he swallowed it. Twice he'd been down in the mines and twice he'd survived. How lucky was that?

The cable car station could be seen through the tree tops only a little ways away. 

"Can you keep going?" The man on the other side of Josh, Roger, panted. Every muscle in Chris' body screamed no, but through sheer willpower he said yes. That was easier said than done though. Soft snow dragged at his legs and hidden branches and rocks tripped him with every other step it seemed. His strength was draining and his limbs were shaking, and half-carrying Josh didn't help. 

Just when Chris thought his body was going to give out on him Roger stopped. "We're here. Get in."

Chris did as he was told, shouldering Josh into the cable car. He awkwardly lowered his best friend onto the seat and practically collapsed in the seat opposite of him. The cold air stung his throat and his shoulder was still throbbing but damn did it feel good to finally be leaving, once and for all. A smile almost made it to his lips until he looked down at Josh. He didn't look any better in the daylight. In fact, he looked worst. the skin around his forehead was purpled with bruising and there was a deep gash below his eye. His disfigured mouth made Chris stomach turn, the torn flesh and protruding teeth and the blood curdled his stomach.

He looked away, trying not to be sick. Chris set his eyes on the scenery outside and took deep breaths instead . The car shook as Roger climbed on and rumbled as it began to make its way down the mountain. With every passing second they were closer to safety. At least he was. But what about Josh?

"So what now? What's gonna happen to him ?" Chris asked. The silence that answered him only confirmed his suspicions. 

"He'll be taken to a facility that'll give him the help he needs," Roger said, though his tone didn't relay the same message. Chris had a bad feeling.

"Good." He nodded. The rest of the ride passed by in silence, leaving Chris to his thoughts. They took him down a dark road laden with regret and wonderings about what would've been different. He relived all of the mistakes he'd made leading up to this moment. 

Josh stirred. His head rolled from one side to the other and he seemed to mumble something. His eyelids flickered. The movement was so sudden and he was so lost in his thoughts that Chris jumped in his seat. He looked over at Roger. At least he wasn't the only one on edge. The car suddenly seemed too small and it was hard to breath. 

He was relieved when they finally reach the bottom. His muscles protested as he stood and helped drag Josh out of the car. A black, windowless van waited outside, as well as Chris' own car.  The bad feeling in Chris' gut resurfaced. Last time he'd felt this way he'd ignored it and now his best friend was on the fast track to becoming a flesh craving monster. This time would be different.

"Ah, damn," Chris cursed. "I forgot..."

"Forgot what?"

"There's another mine entrance up there. By the bridge." Chris' heart beat quickly in his chest. He'd never lied to an official before. 

"I didn't see that on the map." Roger eyed Chris skeptically. Too late to back out now.

"It's not on the map 'cause it wasn't originally there. At least, that's what I'm thinking. Mike found it after he lost Josh. You go over the bridge and take a left at that huge  boulder  we passed. It's like twenty yards back. Can't miss it." Chris avoided the man's eyes, focusing instead on dragging Josh towards the black van. Roger seemed to mull over the information  as he opened up the back.

"You're absolutely certain about this?" he grunted as he hefted Josh into the back. the back was separated from the front by a metal grate, to ensure the driver's safety.

"Do you really think I'd lie about something like this?" Chris managed to look Roger in the eye with what he hoped was an innocent, trusting gaze. He was taking a gamble here. 

Roger  still  seemed uncertain, but he keyed up his radio anyways. Static was all he received. He was out of range.  _ So far so good . _

"Shit. I'll have to head back up there to tell them." He eyed Chris' shoulder. "There's a first aid kit in the glove compartment. Can you take care of yourself?"

"Yea."

"Okay. Stay in the station until I return. Do you understand?" If he was trying to scare Chris, then it was working . His hands shook a bit and he hoped Roger didn't notice. 

"You don't have to worry about me. Sit and stay. Got it. Won't go anywhere," he laughed nervously, hoping it played off as exhaustion. For a moment Chris thought he wouldn't leave but reluctantly Roger nodded, digging into his pocket and handing Chris a key. 

Roger stayed while Chris retrieved the first aid kit. He appeared to be fiddling with the controls, but Chris suspected that he was just waiting to see if Chris would try anything.  _ Play it cool. _

Chris held up the kit and smiled reassuringly, handing the key back to Roger. He took a seat inside the station and shouldered off his jacket. Seemingly reassured, Roger got back into the cable car. Chris counted the seconds. His palms were sweaty.  He chewed his lip as he gave the disappearing cable car one final glance. Chris wasn't one to defy authority, and the thought made his stomach knot with nervousness. If he was going through with this, h e had to be quick. 

It was now or never. 

He limped over to the van, throwing open the door he'd left unlocked. When he was looking for the first aid kit he'd found a spare gun and a case holding three tranquilizer darts. He'd need those. He took the casing, ultimately deciding to leave the gun, and threw it and the first aid kit into the back of his car. 

"Oh man oh man oh man. Josh, buddy, don't say I never did anything for you." He pulled opened the back of the truck. Kidnapping Josh was a lot easier in his head. Chris gripped him beneath the arms and heaved, his shoulder screaming in protest. He was weak and Josh was heavy. It took an agonizingly long time to drag Josh's motionless body the few feet to Chris' car. He was certain at any moment the men would return t find him trying to take Josh and he'd be arrested. Cursing under his breath, he managed to wrestle Josh into the backseat of his car, deciding to seat belt him in  such a way that he was lying down across the back seat and wouldn't be able to sit up if he woke. 

He checked the restraints one more time before climbing into the driver's seat. His heart threatened to explode and adrenaline coursed through his veins. He was terrified. He fumbled in his pocket for his keys, pulling out a lighter, some spare change, a crumpled up receipt, and Josh's meds. He almost forgot that he had them. They'd stopped by the cabin first to see if Josh had  gone back, and Chris pocketed them when no one was looking. He figured he'd need them when they found him. He was close to a panic attack when his finger finally brushed them. His key s. 

The car started on the first try, much to Chris' relief. "I'll help you this time. I promise. This time I'm not gonna leave you Josh, not again. Best friends 'til the end right?"

Josh didn't answer. Chris wasn't even sure if he could speak. Hell, Chris wasn't even sure if Josh could still recognize him. He grit his teeth as he shifted the car into gear. 

"Best friends 'til the end."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm so terrible at summaries. However, I hope you guys are still enjoying the story!  
> Can Chris save Josh? Is there even anything to save? Who knows :) find out in the next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris has Josh in a safe and secure location, but that doesn't change what Josh has become. Chris isn't even sure if there is a cure and has no option but to agonizingly wait for who knows how long. To make matters worse a sudden change comes over Josh's condition. Chris has never felt so helpless and defeated before. Can he really bring back the boy that was once his best friend?

 

Chris tightened the knots around Josh's wrists. He grunted, groggily waking up. Sluggishly he tried to look over his shoulder, opening and closing his mouth at Chris. He shuddered, testing the rope's hold once more. It seemed secure.

Josh looked more like a wild animal than his best friend. His eyes were cloudy and unfocused. They followed Chris' movements but  with no recognition. He didn't seem to know who Chris was. After all the years they'd been together, could he really lose his best friend that fast?  _It's me Josh. Remember me? _ He wanted to scream. 

He'd taken them to his cousin's hunting cabin. Aaron was very distant family at best; the son of his great aunt's son. He was a doctor in his late thirties and had told Chris he could use the cabin any time he'd wanted. Before now, he'd had no intentions of taking him up on his offer. 

The cabin was basic. It was made up of two sparsely decorated bedrooms situated on either side of a full bathroom, a rather spacious living room, and a modern kitchen. A long, winding driveway and tree cover kept the cabin out of sight from the road. It was nestled in the woods with no neighbors near by , the perfect place to keep Josh until he could figure out what to do with him. 

For now he had him secured to one of the two support beams in the living room. He was at least awake enough that Chris didn't have to completely carry him inside, but still drowsy enough that Chris could tie him up again without him struggling. He sat back on his heels to admire his work as Josh gave a sleepy tug on the rope. "Sorry, no wiggle room for you pal." 

Suddenly the day's events caught up with him. He was overcome with exhaustion.  Chris took a seat on the couch facing Josh. He was emotionally and physically drained. 

Josh slowly blinked at him, his jaws opening and closing slowly. Drool escaped from the corner of his mouth. His clothes, like the rest of him, were filthy. Dirt and dried blood caked them as well as who knows what else. He definitely needed a bath. Chris frowned as he looked more closely at Josh's face. The tear at his cheek was puffy and swollen and wet with blood and spit. The gums beneath were exposed, as well as the pointed teeth protruding from them. His lips were bloody and broken, probably from being gnawed on . On the opposite side of his face, there was a deep gash beneath his eye. It was puffy and surrounded by dirt. Chris feared it might be infected. Other than that he had a few more smaller scrapes and bruises. 

Chris couldn't tell what was just dirt or what was actually an injury. There'd be no way to tell for certain until the grime had been cleaned off. As if on que, his shoulder began to throb in pain.

He found some bandages and hydrogen peroxide beneath the bathroom sink. Carefully, he pulled off his shirt, taking a good look at the wound in the mirror for the first time. The adrenaline in his system had kept him from feeling it until now. He grew a little woozy looking at it. It was bloody and his flesh was torn and, oh god, he could see what lie beneath his skin. Swallowing stomach bile and gritting his teeth, he leaned forward and poured the hydrogen peroxide. The pain was excruciating and for a moment he thought he'd pass out as he watch his wound fizz . The water to wash it off felt much better and at least the wound looked clean. He held his breath as he applied the bandaging. 

Chris stepped into the room nearest. A queen sized bed with plain  sheets and an oak dresser were the only things inhabiting it. He began to rummage through the drawers. They were mostly empty, but he managed to find a lighter,  a pack of cig arettes , about forty dollars in cash, and in the bottom two drawers a few extra changes of clothes. He took out a shirt and pulled it over his head. 

From down the hall he heard hissing.  _ He's awake. _

Reluctantly, he went back to the living room. Josh was indeed awake, writhing  at his restraints. He froze when Chris entered the room. He turned his head slowly, and for a moment Chris hoped it was his best friend he'd see. 

It wasn't. 

Josh shrieked and snapped at Chris as he moved through the room. The sun had set outside. Taking another glance at Josh, he began to close the blinds on every window. 

He took a seat on the couch once more, sadly eyeing what was once his best friend. He felt defeated, staring into those cloudy eyes. What was sitting in front of him wasn't Josh, and he didn't know if it ever would be again. He was so  _tired_.

Maybe if he went to bed he'd wake up and the last few weeks would all be one long nightmare. He laughed bitterly. Every night he went to bed with that thought and every morning he'd wake up and all of it would still be real. Sometimes when he woke he was blessed with momentary amnesia. Though, then it  only hurt more when he'd roll over and pick up his phone, poised to send a text to Josh and then he'd remember. Josh was gone. Chris could feel the tears building in his eyes.  Somehow finding him hadn't brought him back. 

"Goodnight bro," he sighed. His feet felt like they weighed more than his thoughts, and he dragged them across the floor. At the doorway he stopped, his hand hovering over the light switch. Josh growled and squirmed behind him. He threw one more glance over his shoulder before continuing down the hall. He left the light on. 

The bed was hard and the sheets were scratchy, but his body didn't care. He crawled into bed, not even taking the time to remove his clothes. 

Sleep didn’t come easy to Chris. He tossed and turned; his thoughts refused to settle. At night he had nothing to keep the memories away. They  looped  in his mind mercilessly. He relived the last conversation he'd had with Josh too many times to count. The closer he got to sleep the more distorted the memory became. It always got to where he'd see Josh the way he was now tied up instead of the way he was then. He'd scream at Chris, his flesh tearing.  _You left me! I thought you were my friend!  _

It was then Chris would wake up and roll over. He could hear Josh in the living room still growling and groaning. 

"I'm so sorry," he breathed. He wasn't sure how much time had passed before he managed to cry himself to sleep.   


Chris woke early the next morning. More accurately, he'd already been awake; he just finally managed to motivate himself out of bed. He'd hardly slept that night, and what little sleep he'd gotten was plagued with bad dream. Exhaustion tugged at his limbs as he rose. 

The moment Chris entered the living room Josh began writhing and screaming once again. The noise grated on Chris' mind. He'd spent most of the night listening to it. 

"Sorry to do this to you man, but you're being a little cranky right now and I like my hands in tact ," Chris said as he picked up a small vial. He approached Josh from behind. Josh struggled to turn towards Chris, but the knots held firm. Chris shut his eyes as he jabbed the needle into Josh's skin. He squirmed violently for a moment before his movements began to slow. The tranquilizer dart was doing its job. 

 Josh growled but otherwise didn’t react as Chris walked to the kitchen, gathering supplies. When he returned Josh was fighting to keep his eyes open . 

"First things first," Chris mumbled to himself as he squatted behind Josh. With a pair of nail clippers in hand he began to work at Josh's claws. He managed to cut and file and clean them back to normal. This was the easy part though. He took a moment to steel his nerves before he moved in front of Josh; his face only looked  more gruesome up close. 

Chris took a wet wash cloth and began to wipe away the dirt from Josh's forehead. This area of his face was mostly unharmed, therefore easiest to deal with. He cleaned the cloth and gently dabbed at the gash beneath his eye. Josh twitched a bit when Chris drizzled hydrogen peroxide over it. He dabbed it once more with the cloth before applying gauze  to it with a small roll of medical tape. 

He took a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling before moving on to Josh's mouth. He started with his lips, cleaning them. Being so close to those teeth unnerved him. Even though Josh was fully sedated, he still felt that he'd snap at any minute, biting deep into his hand. Still, he'd prefer that to what he had to do next. 

With gentle fingers he accessed the tear in Josh's cheek. With tongue in cheek he began to clean it. This would definitely need stitches . Back in ninth grade he'd learned how to give someone stitches in his intro to health care course, and he'd almost passed out just from watching the instructional video. Now he actually had to do it, and his stomach objected at the thought. He'd found a small kit for it in his cousin's medicine cabinet. 

He took many deep breaths as he poised the needle over Josh's flesh with shaking hands. He wanted to close his eyes, but he knew he'd need them open in order to do this well. The needle sunk into Josh's flesh and Chris' vision swam. Watching the needle come back out of his flesh was no better than watching it go in and for a moment he honestly thought he was going to hurl. 

"The things I do for you," he whined as he pulled the thread taut, the flesh closing. Biting his lip he repeated the action again and again until the tear was closed. He sat back for a moment to admire his work and catch his breath. His hands still shook and he still felt queasy but at least that was done. He checked Josh for any other wounds, cleaning his arms and neck, but didn't find any that needed serious attention. 

The cabin was depressingly quiet without Josh's struggling, but Chris wasn't sure if his shrieking was any better. It only reminded him his best friend was a monster. And it was his fault. 

He had to try and fix him. 

Chris brought his laptop in from the car and took a seat on the couch. His cousin's cabin wasn't equipped with the greatest wifi, but it would do. 

He searched for hours but found nothing of use. There were multiple myths and legends and theories but they were all slightly different. To make matters worse, in all of them there was no word of a cure or reversal process. With each dead end he reached his despair mounted.  _There has to be something_.

If there was he couldn't find it. More than once he thought about throwing the damn thing in frustration. He began to pace, trying to wrack his brain. The stranger at the cabin had said  _something _ about the curse, but he couldn't remember what his words were. It was something about the mountain's curse.

Sudden realization hit Chris like a physical blow. Perhaps it was merely wishful thinking, but at least it was hope;  foolishly hopeful maybe, but hope nonetheless. _The mountain's curse_.  It was the mountain's curse that had turned people into wendigos, right?  Maybe leaving the mountain was the cure. Chris had no evidence of this though, but he couldn't deny the hope that bubbled inside him. It was the only thing he had left to hold onto. Now, he just had to wait.  Only time would tell if this would work. 

He had no other options. Much too restless to just wait, he decided to do more research in hopes of finding something he'd missed. 

He didn't remember falling asleep, but when he opened his eyes he was slumped over his laptop. At sometime it had died on him. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes. 

Josh moaned, startling Chris into almost dropping his computer . Josh seemed to wake with the setting of the sun. His head rolled back and forth as he groaned. A noise came from him that sounded almost like a whimper. 

Chris sat up on the couch. The sudden movement got Josh's attention, but he didn't lunge for Chris. Instead, his head continued to roll from side to side as he keened. Tears fell from his eyes. Chris swallowed, unsure of what was happening or what to do. Josh didn't pull at his restraints, his eyes didn't even follow Chris when he moved. Scared, Chris inched forward. A lump formed in his throat. Something wasn't right. Something had changed.  Josh turned his head in Chris' direction, though his eyes weren't looking directly at him. His stomach dropped to the floor.  _Shit, what's happening to him?_  He felt so helpless and scared.

Wordlessly his best friend opened his mouth. He felt weak, and it was hard to breath.  Something in Chris thought he was going to speak. He didn't. 

Blood began to ooze  from Josh's mouth and trail down his chin. It dripped onto his shirt and ran down his neck. Chris watched in horror. 

"Josh?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The content I had originally planned to put in chapter 3 made it so long that I had to split it up. I meant for this to have a happier ending, but alas.  
> Maybe the next chapter will have a happier end :) who know?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris is close to the end of the rope. There's only so much he can handle. He's all alone trying to take care of his best friend. He's not even sure Josh is human anymore. And with this new revelation Chris is only put at an even greater loss. Is it possible Josh can be saved? Or has Chris lost his best friend forever?

 

 

Chris was torn between moving closer to Josh to see what was wrong  and keeping his distance. Josh groaned, staring up towards the ceiling as blood continued to drip down his chin. Chris was worried. Was this just something that happened to wendigos? Did this mean Josh was getting better or worse? And if Josh was getting worse, would Chris have the strength to...

He didn't want to think about that. 

Chris inched closer, reaching out with a shaking hand. He jolted back when Josh snapped at him. His friend howled when his teeth came together, his face contorting. He looked to be in incredible pain. 

"Josh?" Chris called. If Josh recognized him, he couldn't tell. Without his hands free, Josh had to keep blinking tears out of his eyes. He still struggled against the restraints, but it looked less like he was trying to get free and more like he was writhing in pain.  The older boy whimpered, slowly working his jaw. Chris moved closer, fearing that maybe he'd bitten through his tongue or something. 

He got as close as he could, still far enough away that he was certain Josh wouldn't be able to reach him. When he opened his mouth Chris could see more clearly what was wrong. 

His tongue was still intact. That was a relief, even if all of the  blood made Chris squeamish. The bleeding seemed to be coming from his gums. The flesh at the base of his teeth was puffy and swollen and broken. Just looking at it made Chris' own mouth hurt. His friend moaned as tears continued to run down his face. Could he be crying from the pain? That was a human thing wasn't it? That was good right?

Chris sat back, running a hand through his hair. He felt utterly hopeless and unsure of what to do; he was just a nineteen year old kid. He didn't _ know _ what to do. Josh continued to keen and wail, which didn't help. 

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to do. I-I'm trying Josh, but I don't know how to help. I'm sorry. I don't know what to do," Chris  felt  hot tears on his own face. He kept apologizing, but it fell on unresponsive ears. Josh was obviously in a lot of pain, but he didn't know what would help. He rocked back and forth, hyperventilating. His life was crashing down around him and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He'd never felt so lost and  helpless before. 

His world began to spin and nothing could block out the sound of his best friend's agonized moans. Breathing became hard and his stomach turned, he couldn't take it anymore. H e got up, half running and half stumbling to the bathroom. The floor seemed to rock beneath his feet and he grabbed the wall for support. He threw himself down onto the bathroom floor, almost biting his tongue from the jarring impact before he  retched , managing to claw his way up to the toilet bowl just in time. 

Black stars danced at the edges of his vision. The cool porcelain on his forehead helped ground him and gradually the world stopped spinning and settled. He focused on breathing deeply, forcing air past the lump that knotted in his throat. His limbs shook and felt too weak to move, the mental and physical exhaustion finally catching up to him; he'd been through more stress than any nineteen year old had the ability to handle. 

Josh's crying still reached him from down the hall and only served to remind him that he was failing his best friend once again. 

Slowly, he rose from the floor on weary limbs. Blindly he reached into the bath, turning the shower faucet on. He hadn't showered since he'd rescued Josh and maybe the hot water would do him well. 

He was right. The water washed away not only the dirt but some of the stress as well. Steam clouded his senses and fogged his mind, a much needed distraction. The  pattering  of the water on the shower walls even managed to mostly block out the sounds Josh was making. 

Afterwards, h e found a change of his cousin's clothes and numbly put them on. His muscles ached, much like his soul, and his head was killing him. Food. Maybe food would help. But in order to get to the kitchen he had to walk through the living room where Josh was. 

No matter how hard Chris tried, he couldn't quite steel his nerves enough. They were too frayed. He considered abandoning the notion of food, but h is stomach protested, growling. 

Josh was in the same state as before, rocking as far as the restraints would let him. He moaned lowly, a cross between a growl and a whimper. The tears had cut a trail through the dirt on his face and the blood had began to dry at the corners of his mouth. He tracked Chris' movement through the room with a look he could only describe as defeated. 

Luckily for Chris, his cousin had been there only a week or so earlier, so there was still food around. He found some bread that was still good and went about making himself a sandwich. Josh never ceased his insistent  groaning. He could hardly taste the food he was eating. 

In the fridge he found some bottles of water and milk that had probably expired. He reached for the water. 

He approached Josh once more, unscrewing the top. Josh probably hadn't had anything to drink in days right? Maybe even weeks. Maybe it would help. Chris held his hand, and subsequently the bottle, over Josh's head. It caused his friend to look up, working his jaw. He poured the water, trying to get as much of it in his mouth as he could. Most of it ran down his chin and from the corner of his mouth. Whether or not he swallowed any of it, Chris wasn't sure. He regarded the thing sitting in front of him that had once been his friend. He was disheartened and disgusted to think his best friend was reduced to this.  _If only I'd tried harder, I could've..._.  Chris wasn't sure how to finish that thought.

Tiredness dragged at Chris' eyelids. He needed to sleep. Instead of heading back towards the bedroom he stepped outside . The night was chilly and the air was crisp. He inhaled sharply, rubbing at his temples. The throbbing in his head was only matched  by the throbbing in his shoulder. He'd decided that tonight he was sleeping in his car. His mind  couldn't take any more of the  _noise_.

He'd considered using the last tranquilizer dart but surely three in two days wouldn't be good for Josh's health.  And with no other way to silence him, he'd have gotten no sleep. The car may be cold and uncomfortable, but at least it was  quiet . 

For the first time in what felt like forever, Chris plummeted  into a dreamless sleep.

The sun cut through the trees and struck Chris' eyes like the world's douchiest alarm clock. He groaned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His head still dully ached and his back and shoulder hurt from the uncomfortable position. 

He sat there in his car for what could've been hours; he wasn't entirely sure. His phone had died and he hadn't even bothered to charge it yet. How unusual of him. I guess certain events could change a man. 

It took him a considerable amount of time to muster up the courage to go back inside. He tried to fortify his mind for what he'd find inside, but there was little he could do. With a defeated sigh he stood in front of the cabin's door. Already he could hear Josh groaning. Chris wasn't sure how much longer his mental state could lapse before it snapped. 

Josh sat up when  Chris  came into the cabin, whimpering. His eyes darted back and forth as if trying to pin point  his exact location. Chris tried to pay him no mind, sticking his head in the fridge instead. If he didn't see Josh suffering maybe it would hurt less. 

It was a foolish wish; it still hurt just as much. 

Chris sighed, turning away from the older boy and bracing himself against the sink. His heart nearly shattered when a broken raspy voice caught his attention. It was so small and soft that Chris thought his mind was playing tricks on him. Maybe he was finally going crazy too.

It came again, a little louder this time.

"Chris?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "This will get less angsty, I swear!" I say as I continue making each chapter more and more angst-filled.  
> I did say this ending would be happier, right? :') 
> 
> I hope you guys are still enjoying this! Now the real fun begins!


	5. Chapter 5

Chris practically ran to the living room, nearly toppling over a chair on  his  way. He fell to his knees in front of Josh. "Josh? Man, it's me. It's me, Chris. I'm here. I'm..." he trailed off. Josh's eyes darted in his direction but there was no proof of recognition. They were still clouded over. "Josh?"

Josh was breathing in short rapid gasps , his eyes searching for something they couldn't seem to find. _They can only sense movement_.  Chris' hopes fell. He was almost certain he'd heard Josh's voice, but maybe it was just his imagination. Maybe he was going crazy. 

If Josh had recognized him, he wasn't making any sign of it now. Chris wasn't even certain he'd heard anything anymore.  _ No, no he spoke. He said my name _ .  But why wasn't he speaking now? He didn't look any different than the night before. He didn't look any better.  With each passing moment his uncertainty grew.

_ Wendigos, they can mimic their prey. _The thought destroyed him. He didn't want to believe it. Josh wouldn't hurt him. Chris winced, more from the emotional sting than the physical one as he held a hand to the bandage on his shoulder. It served as a cruel reminder that this thing wasn't Josh anymore. He was foolish and naïve to think he could save him, that he could handle something like this on his own. He was lost and afraid and he just wanted his best friend back. "I'm so sorry Josh. I should've tried harder," his voice cracked and he rubbed at his eyes. 

Chris stood up, turning his back on Josh and slowly making his way back to the front door, taking his time to pick up the chair he'd knocked over. Numbly he grabbed his keys. He stopped at the door, giving his friend one last look over his shoulder. Josh was starting to moan again, the bleeding in his gums hadn't stopped yet. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it with a dejected sigh.  _No, that's not him anymore_.

The door slammed shut behind him.   


The world was a blur of mottled gray tones, only brightening for a moment when something moved. He could see shapes and shadows, but he couldn't make  out  definite objects. He couldn't move his hands or feet either. In fact, he could barely think. 

Josh faded in and out of consciousness, barely coherent. His mind felt thick, like tar. Sometimes he would manage to surface for a moment,  grasping at thoughts before  drowning once more. 

_ The mines_. He remembered where he was, but something was different. His senses could tell that something was off, but he couldn't place it. He couldn't even see well enough to be certain. 

Everything hurt, especially his mouth. His back and shoulders cramped and his head felt like it was going to split any second. One side of his face throbbed with a dull ache.  Even his teeth hurt. In fact, they hurt most of all. The pain was unbearable and unrelenting. The taste of blood  always present in his mouth. 

_ So hungry_. 

He only felt the pain when he was awake. Or at least that's when it was at its worst. Sometimes it would be brighter in the cave, and sometimes it would be darker. Sometimes there was a shape that moved.  _So hungry... _

Josh was starting to stay awake for longer periods. At first it was just a fleeting moment, a stirring of something inside him. 

Each time he came back to himself he could think a little more, remember another fragment of who he was. 

_ Josh_. He heard that name often. It drifted to him on a whisper of consciousness. At first he didn't know what it meant, but with time he began to remember. _That's my name_.

Ever so slowly he noticed a shift in his vision. He could make out shapes a little more clearly. The large moving blur looked more defined. Sometimes he even heard voices. They sounded distant, like words were being spoken to him under water. Still, there was something familiar about the sound of it, something that pulled at him. 

_It's not real_.  He'd been alone in the mines, so alone. He remembered the feeling of fear, but he didn't remember why. Everything hurt too much to think.  _So alone. So hungry_.

Sometimes the moving blur would come close to him and he could feel a dizzying rush to his senses, a mix between terror and something more animalistic.  _It's not real_ , he'd think before slipping into unconsciousness.

He heard a voice. It was urgent and so... _familiar_.  This time an image began to emerge in his mind, surfacing through the sludge. Another boy, blonde and with glasses. It made him feel a pang in his chest. Surprisingly, a name came to him. Chris.

His heart began to race. He couldn't quite remember why, but something about that name felt safe, felt like help. Josh tried to say it, but only a raspy sound came out. The moving blur stopped and suddenly he lost it. It was gone. Panicked, he tried harder. "Chris," he called. His teeth came together and sent a wave of pain so strong through his skull that he began to lose himself again, the darkness at the edge of his vision growing larger until it covered everything. 

_ I'm so sorry... I should've tried harder_.Josh thought he'd heard it, but he couldn't be sure. Sometimes his thoughts were as loud as his voice and lately he couldn't tell the difference. He was already spiraling deeper into the tar-like darkness in his mind. He was falling again, and he was helpless to stop it.    


Chris gripped the steering wheel of his car with white knuckled fists, trying to build up the courage to go back inside. He'd left earlier to buy more food. The cabin barely had anything and it offered him a much needed distraction. 

The lady at the counter had given him a concerned look. His hair was disheveled and dark circles surrounded his eyes. He was aware that he looked like hell warmed over, but still he offered her a sad smile. 

"Have a nice day," she said as he gathered his bags. He swallowed and gave her a nod. _I_ _f only you knew what I've been through_.

Now he was sitting outside of the cabin once more, staring at the door. What if Josh was worse? Chris kept hoping that he'd get better, but if he didn’t, he'd have to...

Unwillingly he remembered the saw. The blade slicing through Josh. Chris thought he'd killed his best friend then, but now he might actually have to. He felt his throat tightening just at the thought. "Please no. No no I-I can't," he said to no one in particular, resting his forehead on the steering wheel.  _A few more days_ , he promised himself. He'd wait a few more days and then...

He hoped Josh would miraculously recover by then. 

Chris entered the cabin. Josh's head snapped up. He gritted his teeth, approaching the older boy. He had to find some sort of sign that Josh was recovering. 

Josh's eyes seemed to move more, darting around, though they still didn't seem to focus. Perhaps he was just imagining it, but they seemed less clouded. Chris tried to get a closer look at Josh's teeth without actually touching him. His gums were still swollen and bleeding but his teeth seemed to protrude less. They were still sharp and jagged but they didn't seem as long, or at least that's what Chris thought. He couldn't be quite sure though. He wasn't sure what was real anymore.    


That night passed like a living nightmare. Josh's memories came back in painful bursts. The prank, the hallucinations, the... _Hannah_.  His heart raced and his head pulsed. No, no none of it was real. He was trapped in the mines, all alone. He  _hated _ being alone. And everything hurt  _so much_.  His teeth felt like they were being torn from his skull. He still couldn't see. Everything was shadowed in darkness. Shapes seemed to shift and become fluid the more he tried to focus. 

_ Mike_. Mike was there, right? He'd been walking with Mike when... No, none of that had been real. Had it? Josh was beginning to lose the ability to tell. Or, more accurately, he'd already lost it. 

His mind was playing tricks on him. It had to be. No one was there. No one was coming back for him. He'd hurt them and now they were going to leave him down here forever. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please, somebody," he cried. His voice felt strained and dry, like he hadn't used it in a while. He began to tremble and breathing became hard to do. Why did he hurt so much? 

A sound came from behind him. It sounded like the creaking of a wooden floor, but that was impossible. There were no wooden floors in the mine. The sound of footsteps came closer and he panicked. Josh tried to scoot away but something was holding him back. He squirmed and thrashed but whatever was restraining him held, he wanted to scream but his voice failed him.  _You're not real. You're not real! _

Something touched his shoulder and a blur of movement appeared at the corner of his eye.  _She's here_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, things should start looking up from here, right? Right?!
> 
> Who knows :)


	6. Chapter 6

Chris put a hand on Josh's shoulder. The older boy jumped and fought against his restraints. Chris  was so startled he almost fell back, expecting Josh to snap at him like before. It took a moment for  his  heart rate  to slow and for him to realize Josh wasn't moving towards him, he was pulling  _away_.  He didn't have a lot of experiences with wendigos, still more than he'd ever like to have, but he'd had enough to know they usually came towards you. Quite quickly, if he remembered correctly.

"Josh?" he slowly knelt in front of him. Josh's eyes darted from side to side. His breaths came out in short, haggard gasps as he tried to scoot away. 

" _Josh? _ " the shape in front of him loomed. Its voice was tin-like and distorted as it echoed all around him. The sound began to multiply with each repetition; it went from one voice to many. He could hear his sister's calling out to him in a sinister way, mirrored by the  mirage  of his best friend. Why wouldn't they leave him alone? The voices poured into his mind, growing louder and filling it up until it felt like his cranium would crack from the pressure.  _No, no you're not real! _

"You're not real," he moaned, shying away. Chris froze, almost unsure of what he'd just heard. He reached out for Josh's shoulder and the older boy recoiled. "No!" he croaked, thrashing. Chris grabbed onto his shoulders more forcefully, but that only caused Josh to struggle more, fighting against monsters that didn't exist. 

"Josh! Josh it's me. It's Chris," Chris' voice cracked. Josh seemed to calm a bit, though he still tried to pull away.

"No. No, you're not here," his voice was full of fear. They'd lied to him before, why wouldn't they lie again? _You can't trust the voices in your head_ , he told himself. The problem with that ideology though was he could no longer tell which voices were in his head and which weren't. Chris firmly gripped him, forcing him to be still. 

"I am here. I'm standing in front of you.  I'm right here Josh," he brought his face closer to Josh's. He could practically feel the fear radiating off of the older boy. 

"C-Chris?" he whispered, as if saying it too loudly would make it less real. Chris was right in front of his face but he still didn’t seem to see him. 

Hearing his name coming from Josh felt like a great weight had been lifted from his chest. He'd been consumed with worry that he'd lost his best friend.  "Yea, yea man. It's Chris," he had to resist the urge of laughter bubbling up in his throat. Josh said his name!

That moment of joy didn't last too long. It disappeared as quickly as it had come .

"Chris? I-I can't see. What happened to my eyes. And everything  _hurts so much_ a-and my teeth," he paused, his tongue gingerly running across them. Josh's face seemed to collapse, both from pain and from recognition. The sudden realization visibly spread across his countenance. "I'm becoming one of them.  _No, nononono_.  Chris you-you can't let me become...I don't want to be a monster. Chris you  _can't_ ," he sobbed, leaning forward as if trying to hide himself in Chris. "Nonononnooo. This isn't what I wanted," he continued to moan.

"Josh. Josh! Just... shut up. Before you hurt yourself, " He awkwardly shifted forward, hugging his friend the best he could with the restraints. Josh sobbed into his chest, shaking like a leaf.   "I'm... I'm not gonna let you become a monster, okay? Everything's going to be okay now," he lied. He wasn't sure if anything was  really going to be  _okay_ ever again, but right now that's not what Josh needed to hear. He nodded against Chris' shoulder, his shuddering sobs turned into ragged breaths.

Through his relief Chris also felt a prickle of fear. Josh's teeth were so close to his throat. What if he wasn't getting better and this was just a trick?  He wanted to believe it was Josh sitting in front of him, but the risk was too great. 

He pulled away. Josh looked up at him with eyes full of sudden fear and desperation. "No, don't go," tears  spilled out over his cheeks. 

"I'm not going anywhere. See? I'm right here," Chris patted his leg, hoping it seemed reassuring. Josh's eyes grew unfocused as he nodded. After a moment, h e finally rel axed , his shoulder's sagging back. Chris eyed him wearily. Could a wendigo act this authentic? 

The two sat there in silence for a long time. Chris kept his hand on Josh's leg, lest he think he'd left. It gave him time to calm down and  gather his thoughts. For Josh, however, it seemed to do the opposite. He grew more agitated and mobile with each passing moment. 

"You okay man?" It was a stupid question to ask. He obviously wasn't okay, but Chris didn't know what else to do or say . 

"It hurts," Josh managed, his face contorted in pain. He grimaced, his lips pulling back from his teeth. They were still bloodied and his gums looked raw, but  Chris was definitely noticing a difference. They were getting smaller and wider, slowly morphing back into normal teeth instead of fangs he guessed. 

"I-I don’t have anything. I'm sorry," Chris frowned. He wanted to help; he didn't like seeing Josh like this. His company was the only comfort he could provide. "You'll just have to tough it out."

Josh whined at that, rolling his head back. Chris couldn't even begin to imagine what he must be going through. He just hoped that somehow he'd be able to bring back the old Josh. That was a foolish wish though. None of them would be the same as they were before. 

Chris remained with Josh throughout the day. He watched as shadows slowly shifted and stretched across the room, a testament to how many hours had passed. Josh continued to moan and pant, the pain obviously wracking through him. Chris was helpless to help his best friend once more. At least this time he wouldn't leave him.

It seemed to take an eternity for the sun to set. Another long day in a long week for Chris. He stretched out his legs, wincing as the muscles cramped from sitting in one position for so long. He was tired, but there was no way he'd be able to sleep with Josh whimpering all night, and there was no way he could leave him now. 

Josh was quieter. Perhaps the pain was subsiding, or perhaps he, too, was too tired to react any more . As darkness settled in Chris noticed the tremors running through the other boy, as if he was cold or scared. Perhaps he was both.

He stood up. Josh started, his eyes searching the room as his breathing hitched. "I'll be right back," Chris patted his shoulder as he passed by. Josh stretched his neck to follow his movements out of the room. 

As the light faded Josh could see even less.  _Chris_ , he repeated the name in his mind. Why would he be down here in the mine? He couldn't be real.  _He's not real_ , he tried to tell himself, but the thought of being alone terrified him so much more. Even if he was just a figment of his warped imagination, this hallucination was much nicer than the others. He shuddered  at the thought.

Chris draped a blanket around Josh's shoulders, tucking it behind him so it wouldn't fall. Josh hardly responded, simply nodding as tears continued to fall. He took his place on the couch, lying down with his own blanket. 

Something wrapped around Josh, and it was soft and warm.  _Warm_.  Warmth was something he hadn't felt in such a long time. It was real, right? If this was warm, and if that meant it was real, then Chris was real too? He still couldn’t tell. His mind felt broken, the pieces stabbing themselves into his flesh and tearing him apart. The pain was unbearable and his body throbbed, but at least he wasn't cold. "Chris?" he called out as a test. Usually, his hallucinations didn’t answer him. 

"Yea?" a voice replied. Josh swallowed with relief. _He was real _ .

Chris waited for a response but none came. Josh simply nodded, his head falling against his chest. He watched Josh. His eyes would close every so often, but Chris didn't think he slept. Though his eyes would be closed, Josh's head would occasionally  twitch and move as if he'd heard something. Maybe he had. Who knows what kind of state his mind was in. Chris pitied him. Josh didn't deserve this. 

Throughout the night Chris often dozed off, waking with a start each time Josh made a sound. He often found his friend in the same state as when he'd fell asleep. His eyes would be on Chris, though he wasn't sure if he could see him. Every so often Josh would call out Chris' name to make sure he was still there. 

Morning was slow to come. The sky softened from almost black to a deep blue. When the sun rose the sky bled into pinks, oranges, and violets. Chris woke and was startled to see Josh already staring back at him. His eyes were hollow and tired. In the light, Chris could see the dark circles under Josh's sunken eyes and the ashen tone of his skin. The blood around his mouth was dried and crusted. His teeth were a little more blunt than they had been the day before. 

Josh was oddly quiet. If it wasn't for the rise and fall of his chest, Chris would've thought he was dead. He sat up on the couch. Josh's eyes snapped at the movement, pinpointing it's location. 

"Chris?" Josh whispered. His voice sounded more sure than the day before. 

"Yea, buddy?" Chris yawned, scratching his head absently. Josh followed his movement with attentive eyes. 

"I can't move my arms," he said in the same tone, pulling loosely at the restraints as if to prove his point. 

"Oh, I had to tie you up when we got here. You... You weren't really yourself," Chris explained. Josh simply nodded, as if this made perfect sense to him. 

"Can you untie me now?" he asked. Chris chewed on his lip in thought. There was no need to keep him tied up if he was getting better right? He wasn't entirely better yet, though. Still this was Josh he was talking about. He could trust Josh. Or at least he could trust the old  Josh . 

He threw the thoughts around in his mind, weighing his options. Josh waited patiently as Chris debated with himself. His eyes never left Chris. He didn't even blink. 

"Yea....I suppose," Chris reasoned, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He knelt down behind Josh, fumbling with the knot. Josh watched him over his shoulder. The rope loosened finally. 

Josh flexed his fingers, testing each of them out. He pulled his arms forward, the edge of his mouth twitching.  _Finally_.  He was free. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you love ambiguous cliffhangers? Because I do :)


	7. Chapter 7

Josh stumbled forward. His legs shook when he tried to stand. After so many days of sitting his legs seemed to forget how to support his weight. He clawed his way up the couch and forced himself to rise. His knees threatened to buckle, but he prevailed. Like a baby deer, he stood there wobbling slightly.

Chris stood back. He was uncertain whether or not he should help. He told himself Josh probably wanted to do this himself. Admitting his hesitation was because the distance gave him room to think and act in case Josh turned on him left a sour taste in his mouth. _Josh wouldn't do that_ , a tiny voice reasoned in his head, but with everything that had happened lately, he wasn't quite sure. They'd been best friends since third grade, but ever since Hannah and Beth's disappearance Josh hadn't been himself. He became distant and bitter at times. Sometimes they even argued and other times he wouldn't hear from Josh for days. Chris couldn't blame him for that. Josh had been very close to his sisters, and, though Josh never actually told him, he felt like maybe he blamed himself for their disappearance.

Josh turned around slowly, putting a hand on the support beam. He winced as he walked a few steps, favoring one of his legs. His eyes slowly traveled over Chris, sending a shiver down his spine.

"You feeling okay?" Chris asked, shifting from one foot to the other awkwardly.

"Kind of sore. Must've had a rough night," Josh grinned. For a moment a flicker of his old self passed over him. His teeth were even more normal today, just barely rounded and extended. In a day or two they'd be completely better.

An awkward silence stretched out between them as they stood there. Neither really knew what to say to the other. Chris wanted to apologize for leaving Josh to the wendigos, but he didn't know how to approach the subject. Josh wanted to apologize for so much, but didn't know where to start.

"Maybe... Maybe you should take a shower," Chris offered. It wasn't what he wanted to say, but at least it was something to break the silence.

"Yea. That'd be nice," Josh nodded. He staggered forward and nearly fell. Instinctively, Chris reached out and caught his arms. Josh mumbled his thanks as he used Chris for support.

For the first time Josh took in his surroundings. He still couldn’t see clearly, but at least he could see. It was like looking through a fogged window, he could make out shapes and colors but details were obscured. He realized he didn't know where he was.

He was so relieved to know he was no longer in the mines. Being away from that icy hell even made him momentarily forget the pain coursing through his body. He was safe.

Chris led him to a brightly lit white room he assumed was the bathroom. He started the water as Josh leaned heavily against the sink. He tried to focus on his reflection, but he couldn't quite make it out. Something looked wrong, though he couldn't tell what. Tentatively, he brought a hand to his face, gently running his fingers over the long tear in his cheek and lightly prodding at his teeth. His stomach flipped at the feel of it all. "My face..."

Tears collected at the corners of Josh's eyes. Chris didn't know what to say. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat and forced himself to look Josh in the eye when he turned to him. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came. He tried again. "This should be warm enough. If not, the left knob is hot, the right is cold. I'll hang a towel for you," Chris said as he shuffled around Josh in the tight space. "My cousin should have another change of clothes around. I'll grab them for you."

Josh listened to Chris's receding footsteps. He began to remove his clothes. First he fumbled with the latchings on his overalls, letting them fall down around his hips when he'd managed to get them off. Then he removed his shirt with numb hands. He could hear Chris coming back.

"Here you go," he said, setting the change of clothes on the sink's edge. Chris kept his gaze averted rather sheepishly. He moved to leave.

"Chris?" Josh called, looking over his shoulder. The sound of Chris' footsteps had stopped and he could see his shape standing in the doorway. "I'm. . . Am I a monster?" his voice fell. To Chris, he looked so scared and broken. Josh half feared the answer he'd get, but Chris' silence was no better.

"No, you're not a monster Josh," Chris answered. Josh's shoulders seemed to visibly relax as he turned away. With that, Chris took his leave. The door softly shut behind him.

Josh slowly undressed the rest of the way, moving as fast as his body would allow. He gingerly climbed into the shower. Instead of standing he slowly sank to the floor. The warm water pelted his face and rolled down his skin. It was so warm, so unlike the mine. He could feel the feeling of fear washing away along with the dirt and grime, swirling down the drain. He could almost laugh, but he settled for a smile. The memory couldn't be washed away.

He'd wandered around down there for days. They waited for him around every turn, calling his name. Hannah and Beth followed him wherever he went, taunting and accusing him. He'd been so _scared_. He begged for Sam or Mike or Chris, for anyone, to come back for him. After all, he'd said he was sorry. They wouldn't just leave him there. They were his friends. _Were_. After his little game few would probably call him that if any. Still, they wouldn't leave him to die. Would they? His answer came over the course of days as no one came for him. He pleaded and begged and apologized, his voice eventually gave out from his screaming, but still there was only silence. It made the hallucinations worse.

He spiraled into madness. Each day was worse than the one before it. The hallucinations began to warp. It was no longer just Hannah and Beth but the others would sometimes be there too. Each time he'd stumble towards them, thinking they'd come back for him, only to have them laugh and step away, sneering at him. They'd blame him and yell at him. That was the worst, the yelling. He'd been so cold, and _so hungry_. He'd sealed his own fate. No one was coming for him.

Chris came back. After everything he'd put Chris through, he still came back for him. It was more than he deserved. The water on his face felt like tears, maybe they were. 

 

Chris watched the pot of boiling water on the stove. He felt like he was living in a dream. Josh was getting better, and soon he'd be fully human again. It was all behind them now, the prank and the mines and the wendigos. He still had nightmares from the things he'd seen, but at least now he could move forward. They could move forward.

He wasn't entirely sure how though. He felt like he was at an obstacle, some kind of invisible wall. It was difficult to confront the issue, he was never good at confrontation. He wasn't sure how to feel about Josh after everything that had happened. No one would blame him for not forgiving Josh after all he'd put him through. His little game. But nobody knew Josh like Chris did.

Chris was angry, and not about the prank. Okay, he was kind of angry about the prank, but mostly he was at odds with what had led up to it. He was angry that Josh never said anything to him. For the past year Chris had tried to talk to him and to help him but at every turn he was pushed away. He felt like he was losing his best friend. He needed answers.

A sound behind him startled him. He jumped dropping the spoon in his hand. Josh stood in the doorway, seeming just as startled at Chris' reaction. He eyed the older boy up and down. He had to admit Josh looked a lot better. The dirt and blood was washed away, and the clean clothes helped. A few strands of disheveled wet hair were plastered to his forehead. Josh sheepishly ducked his head as he shuffled to the table, taking a seat.

Chris brought two bowls of soup to the table. It was hot, chasing away cold memories, and he figured Josh's teeth wouldn't really enjoy solid food right now.

Josh practically devoured his bowl, eating messily and slurping down the soup. Chris ate more slowly, watching with a mix of concern and disgust. Twice Josh's spoon struck his teeth and his face screwed up in agony. Chris winced in sympathy.

The silence was unsettling, and Josh could feel Chris' eyes on him. Slowly he lowered his spoon. There were so many things he wanted to say, he didn't know where to start. He tried anyways. "You came back for me."

Chris wasn't sure how to respond at first. "Of course. You didn't really think I'd leave you down there with...with those things. C'mon man, you're my best friend," he said. He wanted to reach out and touch Josh's shoulder, but he didn't.

_You're my best friend_. The words struck him, shattering every wall he'd built up around himself. "Even...after everything I did? After everything I put you through?" his voice caught in his throat, breaking as he forced it past his lips. Tears were welling up in his eyes.

"Yeah." Chris' voice was on the verge of breaking. He wanted to say _of course_.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I-I'm so messed up. I just wanted them to feel what they felt, what-what I was feeling. I wanted to make it easier when...I wanted it to go away," Josh began to sob, his hands fisting in his hair as he babbled. Chris wasn't sure how to process the information, or wasn't sure he wanted to know what it meant.

"What do you mean?"

"It was all my fault Chris. I was their older brother. _I was supposed to protect them_. They deserved better, you all did. It should've been me. If anyone should've died it should've been _me_ ," Josh sobbed.

"Josh..." Chris wanted to comfort him, but he kept going.

"I-I'm the one who's fucked up, wh-why am I the one still here? I thought it would make it easier. I wanted you to hate me. I wanted you to-to get with Ashley so you wouldn't be alone. You deserve somebody better. Someone that'd make you happy. I only hurt people. I wanted you to hate me as much as I hated myself. It would've made it easier when I..." he trailed off into unintelligible sobs. He couldn't hold it back anymore. All of the things he'd bottled up just kept spilling out of him and wouldn't stop.

He didn't need to finish his sentence, Chris knew what he meant, and it broke his heart. "Josh... You could've talked to me. I-I was always there for you. You could've... You could've said _something_ ," Chris was crying now as well. He felt hurt. Hurt that Josh hadn't come to him for help, and hurt that he'd let Josh suffer so much.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Josh continued to cry, gasping for air. His heart felt like it was painfully constricting in his chest, making it harder to breath through the tears. Everything hurt from his head to his heart to his teeth. Living had hurt for so long.

Chris let Josh cry himself out, tears slowly falling down his face. He moved his chair closer, pulling Josh into an awkward half-hug. His head fell on Chris' shoulder as he shook with grief and regret. He wished he knew how to help.

Many minutes passed before Josh calmed down, taking shaky breaths against Chris' shoulder. Tear streaks stained his cheeks. He kept apologizing, mumbling over and over again how sorry he was. The entire thing had left them both emotionally exhausted. They leaned against each other for support, mentally and physically. Josh finally broke the silence.

"What do we do now?" he sniveled. His voice was hoarse.

"We go to bed. We'll worry about tomorrow when it gets here," Chris answered. He stood from his chair, his hand still on Josh's shoulder. "I brought your meds from the lodge. I thought you'd need them when I found you."

Chris was thoughtful, he always was. He deserved a better best friend.

"I want to help," Chris stopped at the doorway. "C'mon. Let's go to bed."

"Yea. Let's go to bed," Josh gulped. _I wanted to help_. Josh lingered at the table, focusing on the orange blur of the medication bottle on the counter. He could hear Chris walking further down the hall. He wondered if maybe he was beyond help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	8. Chapter 8

Josh followed behind Chris through the cabin. From the light coming in through the windows, he judged it was only early afternoon, at best. He didn't argue with Chris' decision to go to bed though; he felt like he hadn't slept in weeks. Truth be told, he probably hadn't, he couldn’t remember. Everything from the past few weeks blurred together into a thick fog. He could grasp bits and pieces, but anytime he drew close to something of substance his heart would start racing and it became harder to breath and his mouth ached.

"Here we are," Chris swept open a door. "Your room for this evening."

The room looked small, and Josh could make out a bed tucked away in the corner. He shuffled passed the threshold, taking the rest in.

"You good?" Chris asked.

"Yea. Yea, I'm...I'm good," Josh tried for a small smile, but it pulled painfully at the stitches. He ran his hand over the rough wood of a dresser.

"Hey, Josh." He turned as a hand gripped his shoulder. "I'm glad to have you back, man." Josh took comfort in the touch, and his lips twitched in what he hoped Chris would take as a smile. His fingers brushed against Chris' hand. Chris gave his shoulder one more squeeze before letting his hand drop. He took an awkward step forward, and then an awkward step back. The floor boards creaked when he turned to leave.

"Chris?" Josh turned. Chris paused in the entranceway. "Thank you. For everything," his voice grew hoarse. He could see the shape of Chris' head nod before he left. He left the door cracked behind him.

The bed sunk beneath his weight. It smelled musty and the blanket was scratchy, but it was better than any five star hotel he'd stayed at before. He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept in an actual bed.

Sleep found him quickly, almost before he'd even closed his eyes. For once he had a sleep undisturbed by bad dreams. In fact, he didn't dream at all. It was true bliss.

 

When Josh woke the light was fading. The room was bathed in shadows and the light that filtered in through the window was the weak deep blue of late dusk. Darkness collected in the corners of the room and seemed to creep close, stretching out towards him and beckoning him. A tree outside swayed in the wind and caused a shadow to cross the room. He jumped, his heart racing. The shadows started to move. In his mind's eye each held a monster just waiting for him to move, waiting to grab him with long white limbs and clutching claws.

He squeezed his eyes shut. The hallucinations were always worse at night. The darkness gave his imagination more room to create. _I'm not in the mine anymore. I'm safe. Chris is here_. He repeated those words over and over in his mind, trying to calm his mounting fears.

" _Joooooooosh?_ " a voice called out. At first it was just a whisper, but it drifted closer, climbing over his skin and raising hairs as it passed. He knew that voice, but it couldn't be real. He focused on his breathing, deep breaths to distract him. Just when he thought he'd recovered the voice came again, sending a wave of panic through him.

"Go away Hannah. You're not real!" he whimpered. He clamped his hands over his ears hoping it would help. _You can't shut out voices when they're in your own head_ , it whispered. It was getting harder and harder to breath as the voices grew closer. Something brushed his shoulder.

Josh bolted up and out of bed, almost tripping when the blanket tangled around his ankles like claws threatening to drag him away. He gathered up the covers and quickly left the room, stumbling through the dark. 

 

Chris lay in bed half asleep, drifting in and out of wakefulness. He registered the sound of shuffling steps but didn't move to respond. His door whispered open, making only the slightest creak.

Josh entered the room quietly, in case Chris was asleep. His eyesight was growing clearer, now he could just barely make out Chris' facial features and the dark shape of glasses on the nightstand beside him. If he was awake he made no sign of it. "Chris?" he breathed. There was no response.

He threw down the blanket bundled in his arms, laying down on the floor and pulling it tight around his shoulders. Having Chris close by helped reassure him. _Are you really so certain he's there Joshua? What are you going to do if something does come and Chris isn't there to save you? That's what happened before, isn't it?_ The voices continued to call out to him, whispering sinister things into his ears. Phantom fingers ghosted over his skin and the shadows crept closer.

Without opening his eyes Josh sat up on his knees, he only dared to look when he was sure he was facing Chris. He appeared to be sleeping peacefully, something Josh could only wish for. Was he really there? He was almost certain but...

He reached out a shaking hand, gently running his fingers over Chris' cheek. His skin felt soft and warm, but more importantly, he felt _real_.

Something tickled Chris' cheek and he turned his head. Josh was so startled by the sudden movement he fell back. "Josh?" he asked, his voice thick with sleep.

"Y-yea?" he gave a shaky response, still sitting where he'd fallen.

"Why're you in my room? Is something wrong?" Chris asked, he sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He looked from Josh to the blanket on his floor and he understood. "Bad night?"

"Uh...yea," he sheepishly admitted. Chris nodded and the room fell into an uncomfortable silence. Seeing as there was nothing else to be said, Josh pulled the blanket around himself once more and tried to get comfortable on the floor. He'd just shut his eyes when something struck him across the face.

"Thought you might want a pillow," Chris said. Josh could just make out the way the corner of his mouth lifted. He mumbled his thanks and tucked it beneath his head. The voices seemed to have stopped, but the visions didn't. He still saw things lurking in the shadows, creeping closer. The darkness morphed and twisted into grotesque things. He tried to tell himself they weren't real, but still a small voice in the back of his mind doubted himself. He turned over, hoping it would help. The expanse of darkness beneath Chris' bed wasn't any more reassuring. If anything, it was worse. In the closeness of it he could imagine those _things_ stalking closer. He tried shutting his eyes once more, but not physically seeing it didn't keep his imagination from conjuring up monsters anyways.

Chris opened his eyes when he heard Josh turning over. He could see he was struggling, the way he pulled the blanket up almost over his face. Josh was practically hyperventilating. Chris wanted to help, but he didn't know what words to say. An idea struck him though.

The sound of Chris shifting on the bed above him nearly made Josh jump out of his skin. He looked up to find him leaning over the edge. "Hey, come up here," he said. When Josh didn't move he patted the edge of the bed. He sat up, eyeing Chris curiously.

"What?" he asked.

"C'mon. I can't let you sleep on the floor," Chris moved over onto the far side of the bed. There was just enough empty space for Josh to fit beside him. He blinked at him expectantly. Josh didn't move, he merely looked down at the vacant spot. "Don't make things weird dude. Remember when we were like ten and we'd have sleepovers and share a bed? It'll be just like that."

With a sigh he accepted, climbing into the bed next to him. The bed would have easily fit them both when they were ten, but they were a lot bigger now, and they had to press close together to fit. Josh turned over, his back facing Chris. Almost subconsciously he scooted back until he could just barely feel Chris behind him. He opened his eye for a moment and started at the sight of his sisters standing in the doorway. He flinched, rolling over to face Chris.

"You alright?" he asked. No, Josh wanted to say, but he nodded instead. Chris persed his lips, clearly displeased with the answer. "Josh, I want to help, but you've got to talk to me."

He didn't want to say anything; he wanted Chris to believe he could get better on his own. Truth was he was weak, on the verge of breaking, and Chris knew it. After a long pause of silence Chris was about to drop the matter when he finally spoke. "It's worse at night. I can see them and...and hear them," he admitted, his voice just barely above a whisper.

"Who?" Chris asked, though he already knew the answer.

"My sisters. Sometimes Dr. Hill. A-and sometimes those creatures," he paused for a long moment, fighting back tears. "It gets hard to tell what's real and they...they blame me for leaving them. For letting them die."

"It wasn't your fault Josh," Chris tried to reassure him by placing a hand on his arm.

"I feel like it is." The light coming through the window caught in the tears gathering at the corners of his eyes, making them glimmer like stars. He looked away, unable to bear the pity written across his best friend's face.

Chris gave his arm a gentle squeeze. "I'm here. I'm real. You're not alone," he whispered. Josh nodded. He pulled the blanket up around them and pressed close to Josh, offering support. He made sure some part of them was touching at all times, a brush of knees or the gentle touch of fingertips. Chris wanted to make sure Josh knew he was there, that he was real. He wanted Josh to know he was safe. 

 

Chris woke a few hours later. The sky outside was just beginning to lighten from black to a deep cobalt blue. He tried to move, and then realized he couldn't

Josh had always been a restless sleeper, tossing and turning throughout the night. Sleeping next to him was hazardous. Chris must have been dead to the world, usually Josh's thrashing woke him up. It didn't last night and he woke to find the older boy on top of him. He'd managed to worm his arms beneath Chris, wrapping them around his waist, and pressed his face into the crook of his neck. Their legs were tangled together and Josh's breath on his neck tickled. He tried to move but Josh had an iron grip, once he grabbed hold of you in his sleep there was no getting away. Josh mumbled something in his sleep, his lips brushing against Chris' neck and sending shivers through him. He must be dreaming, Chris thought as Josh nuzzled his face further into his shoulder.

It was almost cute he had to admit, and a strong feeling of protectiveness came over him. He wasn't going to let anything hurt Josh, not again. One of his arms was trapped beneath Josh, and he feared he'd lose all feeling in it forever, but with his free arm he tentatively wrapped it around the other boy's shoulders.

Josh was reluctant to wake, refusing to open his eyes. He was so comfortable, he didn't want it to end, fearing it was just a dream. Chris radiated warmth like a personal heater. He opened an eye anyways. He hadn't realized he was wrapped around his best friend, and the embarrassment colored his cheeks. He would've moved, stuttering some apology, but...Chris seemed to be sleeping still. _Maybe just a little bit longer_ , he thought with a sleepy smile.

Part of him was worried about how Chris would react when he woke. The other part of him wouldn't mind spending forever nestled next to him. He could feel Chris' pulse, a gentle drumming that soothed him. And he was so warm. He felt _safe_ , something he never thought he'd experience again. He sighed in contentment.

"You know, if your plan was just to end up in bed with me, you could've just asked. Would've saved a lot of time," Chris mumbled sleepily. Josh cringed, he didn't know Chris was awake. When he went to move away the arm around his shoulder tightened, keeping him in place. "It's 'kay," he yawned. Josh swallowed, hoping Chris couldn't see the reddening of his cheeks. He was obviously still half asleep, so maybe he didn't fully notice, but for now...

After a moment's pause he shifted, rewrapping his arms around the blonde's waist. By the sound of his breathing, Chris was already asleep again. He focused on his breathing, letting it lull him. He was enveloped by his body heat and the comforting smell of Chris. He remembered the crush he'd had on his best friend a few years ago, back at the beginning of high school, but he thought he'd gotten over it. Held in his arms however, those feelings were reemerging he feared.

He tried to ignore those thoughts and the fluttering in his chest as he curled into Chris, focusing instead on the closeness while it lasted. Getting his hopes up would do him no good, especially not now. Not after Chris had seen how broken and messed up he was, after everything he'd put Chris through. And what about Ashley?

Even if he had a chance he couldn't take it. He took one last look at his best friend's sleeping face. He looked so peaceful, his eyelids fluttering as he dreamt. He tucked his face into Chris' shoulder once more, wishing for once that the night wouldn't end, but knowing morning was soon to come. _You deserve so much better_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? I told you all there'd be fluffed (angst filled fluff) 
> 
> :)


	9. Chapter 9

The sunlight filtering through the window was a welcome sight. Josh woke still wrapped around Chris, his face pressed into the crook of his neck. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking away the blur of sleep. It took him a moment to fully realize, but he could see quite clearly. Suddenly the world was no longer faded and blurred. He sat up, at least as much as he could with his arms still pinned beneath Chris. His excitement was quickly replaced with terror at what he saw. The collar of Chris' shirt was stained with blood.

For an alarming moment he worried that he'd been the cause, gnawing into Chris' neck while he slept. He thought he'd finally been able to push down the part of him that hungered for human flesh. Could it have all been in vain? His heart rate climbed and his eyes watered. Had he killed his best friend? After all the trouble he went through to save him. He'd hurt him again...

No, that wasn't it. Chris moved, mumbling something under his breath. He opened his eyes, surprised to find Josh so close to his face and at the brink of tears. He sat up on his elbows, almost bumping foreheads. "What's wrong? Dude, your mouth. Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes frantically scanning Josh's face.

"I-I don't know," he said. His brows knit together in confusion as he gently felt across his face. "I...I didn't hurt you?" he asked.

"Wha—oh my god," Chris gasped, tugging at the collar of his shirt. The skin beneath it was unmarked. Josh's relief was visible, the way his shoulders sagged, and he exhaled. Chris was still confused. "No, I'm okay. Hey, open your mouth."

Josh did as he was told, opening his mouth as wide as he dared. Chris held his face gently in his hands, his touch soft. He felt awkward in this position, but he said nothing. "Your teeth, they're...they're normal again. How does your mouth feel?" he asked. Josh thought for a moment. Perhaps it was true. His mouth still ached, but it was dull and manageable, nothing like the searing pain from a few days before. Chris smiled—really smiled—for the first time in ages it seemed. "That's great, right? Go get cleaned up. We can decide what to do from there."

Brushing his teeth was out of the question, they were still far too sensitive for that. Instead he repeatedly rinsed his mouth with water, watching in disgust as red swirled down the drain. It was still better than looking at his face in the mirror; he almost didn't recognize himself. His face had lost all its color and there were dark rings where his eyes seemed sunken in. Even his eyes seemed drained of life, like a faded and cracked reflection of who he once was. A healing bruise mottled his forehead and minor cuts crossed his face. The only color seemed to come from the tear stretching out from the corner of his cracked lips and spread almost to his ear. He could tell the tear had went all the way through the skin, and even though Chris had done his best with the stitching, there was no denying it would leave a nasty, ugly scar. People would stare and grimace at the sight of him, and he deserved it. A constant reminder of his guilt written across his face. He was nothing more than a ghost of his former self.

Chris rapped on the bathroom door before letting himself in. He was shirtless, the soiled shirt tossed over his shoulder. Josh tried not to stare. "Did I leave a spare shirt in here? I can't seem to find another one." For the first time Josh noticed the bandage on his shoulder.

"What's that?" he asked. Chris looked startled. He hesitated.

"Oh, this? It's nothing really. Kind of hurt myself in the mines when I was looking for you. You know how clumsy I can be," he laughed nervously. Chris had never been a good liar. Josh had a sneaking suspicion, and it settled in his stomach like a heavy stone. He had to know.

"You should probably redress it," he said nonchalantly.

"Nah. I-I can do that later. No big deal." Chris was fidgeting now. _I knew it_. Still, had to see it, just to be sure.

"Let me see," he demanded. Chris, stumbled over some excuse, but Josh was having none of that. "Chris," he silenced him. They locked eyes for a long moment in a battle of wills. As usual Chris lost. His eyes fell to the floor as he pulled at the bandaging, frowning.

Josh knew what he would see, but that didn't make it any less surprising. A clear, distinctive bite mark was buried deep in Chris' flesh, only partially healed. For a long moment neither said anything. Josh seemed to be crumbling away, sadness and horror etched on his face. Chris fought for words to say, but none came to him. His mouth worked but no sound came out.

"I did that, didn't I?" Josh asked, his voice just barely above a whisper. He knew the truth, but he had to hear it for himself, from Chris.

"Look, it doesn't mat—"

"Yes. It does matter," he snapped. "Tell me Chris...Please," his voice wavered.

"Yea, it was you, but you weren't yourself! You were..." he trailed off, wringing his hands.

"I was a monster," Josh growled. He took a long look in the mirror and seemed to physically deflate, his shoulders sagging. "What if I still am?"

"You're not. I would know. I'm practically a certified monster hunter," he gave Josh's shoulder a reassuring squeeze and a sympathetic smile. He tried to return it but the smile didn't reach his eyes. Chris plucked a shirt from the ground and turned to leave. He paused at the doorway. "Josh. I don't think you're a monster," he turned, "Even if you were, you'd just be my monster best friend. But you're not. I know my bro."

Josh watched him leave. He looked deep into his own eyes and saw nothing. _You're wrong_ , he thought. _I've always been a monster_. 

 

When he opened the door Chris was standing in the hallway. He shifted from foot to foot, running a hand through his hair. Apparently he'd forgotten to bring any sort of product because his hair was unstyled, brushing over his forehead. "I was thinking, like, since you're kind of better now," he began, pausing to collect his thoughts, "maybe we could go home?"

_Home_. What would be waiting for him at home? Parents that would probably be disappointed, maybe even angry. And the silence. Their house was so much quieter without his sisters; he couldn't stand it. It was suffocating. Who knows what they'd do to him when he came home. They might send him away, off to some psych ward or hospital where they wouldn't have to look at him, be reminded of what their son was. A disappointment and a monster. No, he didn't want to go home...

But then there was Chris. He had a family, too; a family that cared about him and he probably hasn't seen since going to the lodge. All because of Josh. He didn't want to go home, but after all he'd put Chris through he couldn't say no.

"Your parents are worried about you. I turned my phone on this morning and had, like, a million messages and missed calls. They heard about what happened back...back on the mountain," Chris added when he saw the doubt in Josh's expression.

"Yea...Let's go home," he said. He didn't want to go home. 

 

It was only a few hours drive from where they were. He only had a few more hours of freedom. Chris on the other hand looked excited, practically bouncing as he cleaned up the cabin and packed up the car. He only had a few more hours until he was home.

When everything was ready, and there was no trace that an almost-wendigo had been in the cabin, they finally departed. Chris insisted on driving, so Josh collapsed into the passenger's seat. What would happen once he returned home? Where would Chris go? He was pretty sure everyone else hated him, so Chris was the last friend he had left. When Chris left he'd be all alone. Again. And Chris would leave, everyone did.

"Cheer up, man. We're going home," Chris was smiling enough for the both of them. Josh tried to perk up, or at least look like he wasn't dreading his return. He wrapped his arms around himself, fighting off despair. They'd only been driving for about fifteen minutes before Chris turned to him. "You okay?"

He always asked that, and always seemed to mean it. It only made Josh feel worse about what he did. Now that he was himself again he had time to reflect on his actions. "Yea, just a little cold," he said, which was partially true. With one hand on the wheel, Chris reached into the back seat, rummaging around the pile of stuff he'd crammed back there. He threw one of his jackets into Josh's lap.

"Here, and if you're still cold I've got like four more," he said. Josh put the jacket on. It was cold from having been in the car through the night, but it smelled like Chris, which was comforting. He buried himself in it, inhaling deeply. It smelled like a combination of his house, the deodorant he wore, and an indescribable scent that he could only call Chris. They drove more a few more minutes in silence.

"What's gonna happen when we get back?" he asked.

"Um, well the police might be there," Chris drummed on the steering wheel with his fingers. Josh's stomach sank. Were they going to arrest him? He hadn't meant for anyone to get hurt...

"Why?" he asked, though he feared he already knew the answer.

"I may have broken into a government vehicle," Chris admitted. That wasn't what Josh was expecting. Chris saw the quizzical look on his best friend's face and decided to explain. "They were going to take you away to...who knows where. I wasn't gonna let that happen. Had to get you out of there. Even though your bite was definitely worse than your bark."

"You kidnapped me from a government vehicle?" Josh asked. Chris wasn't the kind of person to defy authority, and the fact that he was willing to for Josh's sake struck his heart. He realized how little he knew of what happened.

"What can I say? I'm a badass," Chris said, looking completely smug with himself. He had so many questions.

"What happened up there when I was...gone?' Josh asked, staring out the window. Trees passed by in a blur.

"A helicopter picked us up in the morning, the whole lodge burnt to the ground. I...I didn't want to leave without you but they didn't give me a choice. They kept us in some government facility for like a week, asking all these questions and doing like blood tests and stuff. I kept asking about you, but they wouldn't say anything. When they finally said we could come home...They said that they hadn't found you," he paused, letting it all sink in. Josh mulled it over in silence. _He didn't give up_. He had every reason to, but he didn't. After Chris had left him in the shed he'd figured their friendship was successfully severed. "When I heard that a rescue team was heading back up there, I made them take me. If there was even a chance I'd find you...I mean, I left you there in that shack. I should've stayed," his face fell as he recollected. He blamed himself for what happened to Josh; he should've been a better best friend.

"It wasn't your fault," he said. _It was mine_.

"When we found you in the mines, you...well. They were going to shoot you I think and I-I couldn't let them. I stepped in front of you and...well you tripped and your teeth accidentally got lodged in my neck."

"Yea. I'm sure that's how it happened," Josh deadpanned, feeling sick of himself.

"After that they tied you up and threw you in the back of a van. I broke you out and I've been holding you hostage ever since," he continued.

"What about Ash?" he asked.

"After everything that happened, we decided that maybe we're better off as friends," Chris replied, never looking away from the road. After all the work Josh had put into getting those two together and they'd decided they were better off as friends. All of his efforts wasted. A small part of him, a part he tried to keep pushed down, was glad.

"Oh." He turned back to the window, watching the world go by. For a while neither of them spoke. Chris turned the radio on, but kept the volume low. Josh had almost dozed off, his eyes drifting closed and then he'd snap them back open. He almost didn't realize Chris was speaking.

"So about last night..." he started. Josh could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. He felt embarrassed.

"I'm sorry for crawling all over you," he scratched the back of his neck.

"Nah, it's-it's whatever. I didn't mind. I was just wondering...did it help? Like with the visions and the nightmares and stuff. I mean, you seemed to sleep pretty well I just..." he caught himself before he could ramble any further. Josh looked over and found Chris blushing too.

"Yea. Yea, it helped," he admitted, though rather sheepishly.

"Good. Good. I wanted to help," Chris nodded, and then with a smirk he added, "You know, if you ever need me, I'm always available as a cuddle slut, though I have to admit I don't come cheap."

The remark was so sudden and surprising Josh couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled out of him. For a moment it felt like the old times between them and he could breathe again. Chris noticed the change too, and he smiled. The old Josh really was in there somewhere. He wasn't gone, only lost. 

 

Josh fell asleep, his face leaning against the window. Every time he exhaled his breath fogged the glass. Chris would glance over every so often. He seemed so peaceful. He shifted in his sleep, burying himself deeper in Chris' Jacket, nuzzling into the shoulder of it. He sighed in his sleep. The feeling Chris had felt the night before returned; it was like some kind of strong pulling deep in his chest. He wanted to keep Josh safe. No, he was going to keep Josh safe. He hadn't been there when Josh had needed him, but that was going to change. No matter what they faced going back, Josh wouldn't have to deal with it alone.

The sun was bright and cut through the tree line like a golden haze. It promised a new day, and it was. They were finally going home, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this?! A happy-ish ending?? :o
> 
> Makes you wonder what will happen next :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What I had originally planned for chapter 10 turned out to be too long for one chapter, so I had to split it in two. My apologies.

Chris had been right, the police were there when they arrived. Josh was still fast asleep in the passenger’s seat. Mr. and Mrs. Washington stood amidst a ring of police officers, apparently engaged in some sort of heated debate. His stomach tied itself in a knot as they pulled in. He had a bad feeling about this, but he hoped he was wrong. Gently he shook Josh awake.

“Dude, we’ll be fine. They probably just want to talk,” Chris said when he saw the look of terror come over Josh’s face. Josh nodded in agreement, though he wasn’t so sure. Truthfully, Chris wasn’t certain either. Both of them had enough reasons to be taken into custody.

Josh’s heart was beating away in his chest; for a moment he wondered if it was possible that a heart could beat so fast it’d just stop. He gripped the door handle tightly in one hand, the other clutching at Chris’ jacket that he still wore. A lump formed in his throat, probably his stomach threatening to vacate his body, and he felt sick. Chris came to a stop and shifted the clutch into park, though Josh wished he’d put it in reverse and they could leave. Sadly, it was too late for that.

His parents spotted him through the windshield, and for a moment he wished he could shrink far enough into Chris’ jacket that he no longer existed. He was scared that they’d be angry with him. They practically ran for the car, followed more slowly by the officials. His mother was obviously close to tears, her large brown eyes watering behind her glasses. She was a stern looking woman usually, with neat, peppered hair that just barely brushed her shoulders. Today, however, her hair was flying all over the place and her glasses were crooked and sliding down her nose. She looked just like them, like his sisters, he thought. Even his father looked distressed; his shirt was only half tucked in. Numbly, Josh fumbled with the seatbelt and unsteadily climbed out of the car. He wasn’t sure if his knees would hold him up, but luckily they didn’t have to. His parents wrapped him in an embrace that nearly carried him off the ground. His mother was shaking, sobbing into his shoulder that her baby boy had come home. Even his father was crying now, wrapping his arms around him in a strong embrace, much like he did when Josh was younger and had bad dreams. Something warm and wet was rolling down his cheeks. He was crying.

Awkwardly, Chris watched from the driver’s seat, a lump forming in his throat. Josh was home, and his parents were so happy to see him. Absently, he wondered if they knew what he’d done. Pushing that thought from his mind, Chris smiled at the family’s reunion, but what happiness he had quickly faded when he saw an officer gesturing towards him. Nervously, he got out of the car. Melinda Washington seemed to notice Chris’ presence for the first time, and in a mess of tears waved him over. Without warning he was pulled into a Washington family group hug, something he’d never experienced before. Josh’s mother kept babbling about how she was so glad her son was safe, that he was home. Every so often she’d give Chris a little shake, thanking him profusely, and Mr. Washington firmly patted him on the back. The officials watched from a respectable distance.

“Excuse me, ma’am?” one of the officers tapped Mrs. Washington on the shoulder. She spun around, still clutching Josh tightly. He seemed to be eyeing Josh up and down, as if he was some exotic animal that may be dangerous if you got too close. Chris recognized him as one of the men that had been there when he’d found Josh. “We’re still going to have to take him in,” he told her.

Mrs. Washington pulled her son closer, squeezing the air out of him. “No. No, you said the charges would be dropped that-that he could come home,” she fretted. Josh felt uneasy, but at least he wasn’t alone in that. Chris felt uneasy too.

“And he will. But first, he needs to go to the hospital. We’re going to keep him there where he’ll be evaluated and then, if he passes evaluation, he’ll be free to go,” a more superior looking officer explained. Mrs. Washington’s eyes flitted back and forth between them, and slowly her grip on her son weakened, though she didn’t let go.

“Will…Will we be able to see him?” she asked. _No, don’t let them take me!_ Josh wanted to tell her, but his voice wouldn’t work. He brushed his hand over Chris’ arm, somehow gaining strength from the contact.

“Yes, after the third day. First he’ll be kept in isolation to make sure he’s…not a threat to anyone,” the officer continued. Josh focused on breathing. He looked up at Chris who was watching him with a worried gaze.

“Third day? How many days will he be there? And what do you mean a threat? Joshua didn’t mean to hurt anyone, you saw that!” Mr. Washington argued, shifting so he stood protectively in front of his family. Chris fidgeted off to the side. He felt helpless; he wanted nothing more than to keep Josh safe, but he couldn’t go up against the law.

The officer glanced at Chris in understanding. He knew what he meant. They wanted to make sure the Josh with them right now wasn’t the Josh they’d found in the mines. “We plan to keep him for at least a week, maybe more if necessary. He’ll be seen by Dr. Hill every day to evaluate his psychological state, for legal purposes. After the third day you can visit him anytime from twelve to six,” he explained, gently pulling Josh away from his parents. He made one last desperate grab for them.  

“W-Wait!,” he cried, “What about Chris?” _Can he come?_ Josh meant to add, but the words failed him, never making it past his lips.

Everyone turned their eyes on him, and suddenly Chris wasn’t so sure what would happen to him. He feared he might be arrested, and no amount of smooth talking or corny jokes would get him out of it.

“We’re taking him to the hospital too. He’ll be asked some questions, maybe even see Dr. Hill as well, and then he’ll be free to go,” the man said, giving a pointed look to Mr. Washington.

“So…So I can just go? I’m not getting arrested?” he asked.

“No,” the officer sighed, “seeing as these are…special circumstances…we won’t be holding you accountable for legal action.” Chris was certain that Mr. Washington had something to do with it. Perhaps that’s what they’d been arguing about before: agreeable negotiation terms. After all, there was nothing money couldn’t buy.

“Oh,” Chris replied, pleasantly surprised. With that the officials began ushering them away. Pulling Mrs. Washington away from her son was a daunting task, and took a lot of coaxing and soothing words from Mr. Washington. They led Josh to one car, opening the back door for him to climb in. When he realized Chris was being taken to a separate vehicle he paused, calling out. His heart leapt into his throat and his world seemed to quiver. Chris turned around.

“Stay. Please?” Josh’s voice broke. He looked high strung and barely pieced together, like the slightest nudge and he’d fracture. Chris smiled, trying to reassure them both.

“What? You really think I’m going somewhere? Nah, I’m not going anywhere. We’re partners man. Best friends ‘til the end,” he shrugged. With that he climbed into the car and the door was shut behind him. 

 

Josh’s parents followed behind them in their own car, and if he twisted around in his seat, Josh could just make out the silhouette of Chris in the car behind them. When they got to the hospital they were driven around back, away from public eyes. The officers quickly herded them inside to a staff of waiting nurses. Josh had just enough time to cast one last worrying glance over his shoulder at Chris before he was thrust into a small room by himself. It was the kind of observation room you sat in when you were only in for a quick visit. Three chairs sat against one wall, and on the opposite was one of those evaluation tables covered in white paper where the doctor examined you. A desk and rolling chair were tucked into one corner, a sink and a sign saying _always wash your hands_ in the other. He was all alone, and it was suffocating.

It seemed like forever until someone came for him. Footsteps cast shadows outside his door from the outside followed by whispers he couldn’t make out. The only constant sound was a ringing in his ears and his heart hammering away. The door opened and a middle aged man in spectacles came in holding a folder with Josh’s name on it. He looked the boy up and down warily, eyeing the long gash on his face.

“Hello. I’m Dr. Algernon. If you’ll remove your clothes and put this on, I’ll be back in a moment to give you a physical evaluation,” he said, handing Josh a folded up hospital gown before leaving the room once more.

A few minutes later there was a light rapping at the door a moment before Dr. Algernon reentered the room. Josh was waiting in one of the chairs, his clothes piled in the seat next to him. He was waiting for further instructions.

“If you’ll please take a seat on the observation table, Joshua,” the doctor directed as he studied the file in his hands. Josh complied, shuffling his way over to it. The plastic of the table was cold and stuck to the back of his legs. “Okay, I’m going to do some standard tests and ask you a few questions. Is that okay?” he asked, pulling out what looked like a pen from his front pocket. Josh nodded, not knowing what else to do. “Follow the light with your eyes, please,” he said. Josh did as he was told, only wincing slightly when the light was shined directly into his eyes. Seemingly satisfied with the results, Dr. Algernon turned off the light and scribbled something down in his notes.

He continued with the exam, first taking Josh’s temperature, and then his blood pressure. He then had Josh open his mouth as wide as he could without hurting himself, studying his teeth and the tear in his cheek while mumbling to himself about the stitching. Then he pulled out a stethoscope, listening to his heart and telling him to take deep breaths. Josh almost felt like a kid again, sitting in the doctor’s office for a routine checkup, as the doctor tested his reflexes. He watched as the doctor scribbled away.

“Tell me Joshua, how are you feeling?” Dr. Algernon asked without looking up.

“Um…scared,” Josh answered truthfully. This brought a small smile to the man’s face.

“Well, that’s a reasonable response. Any thoughts of violence? Wanting to hurt other people, or yourself? Anything like that?” he continued with his questioning.

“No,” Josh answered.

“Good, good,” he jotted down more words in his notes and then stood. “Come with me Joshua,” he said. Josh had no choice but to follow, so he did. Nurses and doctors alike eyed him curiously as he passed, some in confusion and some in fear. He wondered how much they’d been told.

The doctor led him around one corner, and then another. They passed by many rooms, most of them closed. They were moving too fast for Josh to look in any of the ones that were open, but for a brief moment he thought he caught a glimpse of Chris, though he couldn’t be sure. His stomach was in knots; he’d never been so nervous to be at the doctor’s. Without a word to him, his doctor stopped at a nurse’s station. He exchanged a few words and then picked up a gray bundle. Finally, he turned to Josh.

“Here, you can change into these in there,” he gestured to a restroom, “When you’re done just hand your gown to one of the nurses. Oh, and they’ll make sure your parents get your clothes.”

Without even waiting for a response from Josh, Dr. Algernon walked away. Josh did as he was told as if in a trance. If he was good maybe they’d let him go home sooner.  The gray bundle proved to be a gray shirt with matching gray sweatpants and a pair of socks. He put them on with shaking hands. They were soft and smelled like the hospital, but he didn’t mind. When he emerged from the room he found a nurse was waiting for him.

“Is there anything you’d like to keep during your stay here that you brought?” she asked, holding a bag that held the clothes he’d been wearing when he arrived. Really, they were Chris’s clothes, or his cousins, or something like that. Either way, they weren’t his. He shook his head and the nurse turned to leave. Suddenly, he remembered something.

“Wait!” he called after her. She stopped, seeming a bit startled as she turned around. “My jacket. Can I keep my jacket?” 

 

Chris was ushered into a room much like the one they’d taken Josh into. He waited patiently for someone to arrive. After what felt like an eternity—he’d read through every free pamphlet offered on the desk—a doctor finally entered. It was the man he’d seen walking with Josh.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Algernon. How are you Christopher? Any ailments?” he asked, taking a seat in the wheely chair by the desk.

“I’m…I’ll be a lot better after I get some proper rest. How’s Josh? Is he okay?” Chris asked as the doctor proceeded to wrap a cuff around his upper arm, checking his blood pressure.

“Joshua will be fine. Now, are there any injuries?” he asked as he wrote down the results. Chris debated for a minute on whether or not he should mention the bite. Given the thin ice he was already on, he figured hiding things wouldn’t do him any good.

“Y-yea, I’ve got this…thing on my shoulder,” he said. The doctor nodded with concern.

“Would you mind removing your shirt then?” Chris did as he was told. Dr. Algernon’s face grew grim when he removed the bandages. “I see. This will need to be documented,” he said, writing something in his notes as Chris fidgeted in his seat. After a more thorough examination of the wound, Dr. Algernon came to the conclusion that the wound was clean and would heal on its own.

“So…is that it?” Chris asked.

“That’s it, from me at least. Dr. Hill would like to speak with you shortly and then you’ll be free to go. The official that brought you here will be waiting to give you a ride back to your vehicle and you can go home,” he smiled, removing his gloves and tossing them in the trash.

“What’s going to happen to Josh?” Chris asked, pulling his shirt on over his head.

“That’s yet to be determined,” Dr. Algernon sighed as he left. The door shut with a definite click behind him.


	11. Chapter 11

                The first day was the worst. So many people asked him so many questions, making him relive everything that had happened. He was probed and prodded, lights shined in his face and hands felt across his body. There were so many voices and so many people he’d never seen before. They looked at him with wariness or fear or confusion, even curiosity, like he was some kind of animal caught in a cage to be gawked at. What’s worse was they asked all these questions, but didn’t answer any of his. The only sense of relief came when Dr. Hill stepped into his room, escorting the doctors out of the door.

                While Dr. Hill made some last minute remarks to one of Josh’s various doctors, he looked around his room. It was sparsely decorated; a single medical bed, a dresser, a sort of night stand, and two chairs positioned by the window. There was hardly anything in his room, which he suspected was done on purpose. He wasn’t entirely sure, but he thought there were nurses positioned outside his room at all hours to make sure he didn’t leave—or try to hurt himself. Josh had never felt more constricted in his entire life. The only thing he had left was Chris’ jacket and the promise his parents made that they’d be here the moment they were allowed in. On one hand he was glad his parents hadn’t been disappointed in him, but on the other he didn’t feel like he deserved their kindness. This was, after all, all his fault.

                Dr. Hill, with a file in his hand, crossed the room and quietly took a seat in the chair closest to the window. For a minute neither said anything, Dr. Hill was just watching him. The silence was heavy and awkward and Josh just wanted it all to end.

                “How are you feeling Joshua?” Dr. Hill finally asked. He never took his eyes off of him.

                “I’m…I’m okay,” Josh answered. A smile twitched on Dr. Hill’s face.

                “If you were okay, I doubt we’d be here. I’m here to help you Josh, but only if you tell me the truth,” he leaned forward, staring at Josh intently. _Josh, I want to help, but you’ve got to talk to me._ Chris’ words made him feel a sharp pain in his chest, making him wince.

                “I’m…scared. A-And I feel alone, and guilty,” he began. The words felt thick in his mouth and they were hard to force past his lips.

                “Guilty? Of what?” Hill asked, taking out a small notebook and pen.

                “For everything that happened. They almost died, and it was my fault. They’re…They were my friends, and…something happened to Jess. I…I think I killed her,” Josh could feel tears welling up in his eyes, but he willed them back. Friends was a word he’d tainted with betrayal.

                “Life has many aspects, it’s very ambiguous. You cannot blame yourself for everything that happened on the mountain. I’m sure some of the events would have unfolded exactly the same even without your…assistance,” he said carefully, “As for Jessica, you did not kill her. In fact, she’s alive. She was found and rescued. They’re all alive.” Josh’s chest tightened at the news. He hadn’t killed anyone after all. At least he wasn’t a murderer. Dr. Hill watched his reactions carefully, making note of the things he said or did. “I’m aware you stopped taking your medications Joshua…”

                His stomach flopped at that. Part of him felt heated with shame. “They didn’t make me feel any better,” Josh nervously picked at the bandage from where the doctor’s had drawn blood earlier.

                “They’re not supposed to make you feel better, you know that. These medications aren’t a cure. They’re supposed to help you manage. I’ve told you this before,” Hill waited for a more honest answer. Reluctantly, Josh caved.

                “I thought I could handle things without them. I thought I was well enough that I could… It was just gonna be until until after…” he trailed off.    

                “After what? What were you going to do after?” Hill’s question made him grimace. He didn’t want to go back there. From the look on Hill’s face, he already knew the answer and was just waiting for Josh to actually say it. His eyes fell to the dresser. Chris’ jacket was folded neatly on top.

                “Is Chris still here?” he blurted out. Hill sighed at his avoidance, but given his current state, he allowed it.

                “No, Christopher has already left.” Josh’s face visibly fell. He felt even lonelier now. “I spoke to him before though. He’s a very thoughtful young man. I assume you two are close from the way he kept asking about you. What exactly is the…nature of your relationship with Christopher?” Hill questioned. Josh felt his face heating and his heart skip at the mention of Chris. The fact that he’d been worried about him almost brought a smile to his face. His cheeks reddened deeper as he realized the implications of what Hill was asking.

                “Chris is my…best friend,” he forced the words out. He didn’t feel he was worthy of that title personally, but he had no other way to describe Chris.

                “Your best friend? So, did he know you were off of your medications? Did you confide in Christopher?” Hill scribbled away in his notebook.

                “No…I mean, he knew I was on meds, but he didn’t know I stopped taking them. He w-would’ve done something,” Josh admitted, making himself feel terrible. Chris would’ve tried to help him, he always had.

                “I see. You’ve mentioned him before. In our sessions. From what I recall, you two haven’t been too close recently?”

                “No, we weren’t,” Josh’s heart felt like lead in his chest.

                “And, from what you told me, Chris wasn’t part of what happened last year, correct? Neither was Sam. And yet, from their reports it seems to me that they’re the only ones really affected by your…actions. Why was that? Neither had anything to do with your sisters’ disappearance. You said you were punishing them for what they did to your sisters, but Sam and Chris were innocent. You purposely sent away anyone who had to do with the events of last year. So Joshua, tell me, who was it you were really trying to punish? Your friends?...Or yourself?” Hill let the silence fall between them. Josh felt terrible, almost physically ill. Dr. Hill was saying all of the things he didn’t want to think about, and the way he was watching Josh he knew he was expecting an answer.

                “I…I wanted them to hate me. It’s what I deserved after all. I-If they hated me it w-would’ve made things easier…” he wrapped his arms around himself, holding himself together. If he let go all of his pieces would fall apart, and he doubted even Chris could manage to put him back together.

                “Made things easier…after?” Hill took Josh’s silence as an affirmative, “Joshua, are you still having these thoughts?”

                “No, I mean. Maybe? I-I don’t know,” he ran a hand through his hair roughly, nails lightly scraping his scalp.

                “It’s all right Josh. I’m sorry to have worked you up on your first day back,” Hill glanced at his watch, “I’m afraid we’re all out of time. I’ll be back tomorrow around three again. Joshua, if you need anything at all, _anything_ , there are nurses right outside and if you’re continuing to have these bad thoughts don’t hesitate to call. I’ve left my number at the nurse’s station. You can call me at any time. No matter how lonely you feel, you’re not alone. Remember that.”

                Dr. Hill stood to leave, giving Josh one last piteous glance. Josh watched him go, fidgeting with the edge of his blanket.

                The rest of the day went by in a tiring blur. More doctors came in with more questions and more tests to perform. Numbly, he did as he was told, answered what he was asked. His dinner consisted of oatmeal and applesauce. He ate without really tasting, more focused with just getting through the day.

                He didn’t think it was possible, but the first night was worse than the first day. The hospital was cold, to lower the chance of infection, but it merely brought the mines back to the front of his mind. He tossed and turned, tormented with nightmares. Once he screamed in his sleep and a nurse came rushing in. In his confusion he almost hit her. Before she could raise an alarm he apologized profusely, explaining to the startled woman he hadn’t recognized her at first.

                “A-Are you okay Mister Washington?” she asked, obviously still unhinged.

                “Yea, just having trouble sleeping. I’ll be fine,” he sunk down into his bed, his tired eyes drifting shut. For a moment there was silence, and then the sound of retreating footsteps. He waited until he heard the soft click of the door shutting. Tears streamed from his eyes. He was so tired; he just wanted to sleep, but the nightmares were _so bad._ He felt so alone and shut off from everyone. It was almost like being back in the mine again. Josh would’ve given the world just then to have Chris back. He felt safe with him around. _Chris._ His heart ached inside his chest. He wouldn’t get to see him for another two days, and that’s if he came on the first visitation day. To fight off the night terrors he focused on thoughts of Chris, remembering and reliving the night he’d spent in his arms. The memory was fleeting now; he could hardly remember the feel of his arms wrapped around him. Sadly, he buried his face in his pillow, fighting off despair. Suddenly, a thought struck him.

                Quietly he got out of bed, shuddering as his feet touched the cold floor. He crept over to the dresser, taking the folded up coat on top. He brought it back to bed with him, surrounding himself in it. The texture of the fabric felt familiar to his skin, and it helped soothe him. Chris no longer seemed so far away. Josh buried his face in the jacket, inhaling deeply. It smelled like Chris, which he found comforting. Soon he found himself dozing off. He tried to stay awake, for fear that he’d only dream more, but to his surprise he slipped into a dreamless sleep. In his mind he could almost hear Chris’ voice.

               

                The days from then on were easier. There were fewer tests to be done and fewer questions left unanswered. Seeing that the immediate threat had passed, even the staff became nicer and more relaxed. The nurses even smiled at him when they came into his room. He still wasn’t allowed to leave his room, not until the third day, but at least he was treated as a person instead of a wild animal. Dr. Hill’s sessions weren’t that bad either. He’d start with the usual questions. _How are you feeling today? Are you having any troubling thoughts? Any thoughts of violence against yourself or others?_ Josh would answer them and then Hill would move on to touchier subjects. _What’s do you remember about your time in the mines?_ That one was hard to answer every time he asked. Josh’s heart would start racing and he’d see flashes of images in his head that made him feel sick. Dr. Hill came to the conclusion that Josh was forcibly repressing the memories, and that there was no need to delve further into them now. To his relief, Hill said that could wait for many more sessions.

                After Hill left Josh usually took a nap. His sessions left him physically and emotionally exhausted, and it wasn’t like there was anything better to do cooped up in a hospital room. He awoke around dinner; they were still feeding him softer foods given the state of his teeth. He noticed they’d placed him on a vegetarian diet, and honestly he was okay with that. For some reason the thought of eating meat made his stomach roil. They put him on a new medication, starting him off at a lower dose.

                The nights weren’t even that bad. He was still plagued with an endless supply of nightmares, but they didn’t seem to disturb him as much. Perhaps he was growing used to them. Each time he woke up he’d pull Chris’ jacket around him and, breathing in the scent of his best friend, fall back asleep.

 

                He woke early on the fourth day, almost too anxious to eat his breakfast. Today he’d get to see his parents again, and maybe even Chris. Visitations didn’t start until noon, so he waited, counting down the minutes.

                At two minutes past twelve his parents came through his door. Honestly, he’d never been so glad to see them. His mother looked close to tears once more, but at least this time there was a smile stretched across her face. She hugged him too tight for too long, and he left the embrace feeling winded. Even his father hugged him tight, something he hadn’t done in years. Josh found himself tearing up.

                Surprisingly, his parents stayed with him the entire day, from twelve to six. When a nurse came in to escort them out, his mother even tried to bargain with her for a few more minutes. The nurse was stricter than she looked however.

                “Joshua needs his rest,” she repeated every time his mother asked, slowly ushering his parents out of the door. Before leaving they called over their shoulder telling him they’d be back first thing tomorrow. A smile pulled at his lips and his chest ached, but in an almost good way. He’d never felt so loved before, which made him feel guilty because he hadn’t done anything to deserve it, but he tried to push that thought from his mind. He replaced it instead with a much sadder one. His face fell, and with it his heart. Chris hadn’t come.

 

                The next day was much like the one before it. His parents arrived exactly at twelve. Throughout the day he kept checking the clock. As each hour slipped by he found it harder and harder to keep his spirits up. _He’ll come. He promised._ Josh kept telling himself this with every worried glance at the clock. His parents even seemed to notice the shift in his mood.

                “I’m just tired,” he lied. They believed it.

                The clock struck six and a nurse came in to escort his parents out. They left easier today, and Josh was glad. He wanted some time to himself to sulk. Chris hadn’t come today either. Maybe he’d forgotten about him. Or maybe he just didn’t want to come. After all, Josh couldn’t really blame him, not after everything he’d put him through.

                He picked at his food that evening. Sadness seemed to fill his stomach instead, leaving hardly any room for food. He forced a few mouthfuls down, hoping the doctors wouldn’t notice his lack of appetite and think there was something wrong. He didn’t want to stay here any longer.

                That night he could hardly sleep. The nightmares were back in full force, and even Chris’ jacket couldn’t comfort him. It felt so empty and cold. _Where was he?_ Josh pondered over many scenarios until he fell into a troubled sleep, all of Chris happily without him. He thrashed in the throes of another nightmare. Tears slid down his cheeks. A whisper snuck through even his sleeping mind. _He promised he’d come._

 

                He was hardly in the mood for any company the next day, but he couldn’t push his parents away; he’s been doing that for the last few years. They even managed to distract him for a while, keeping his mind off of Chris’ absence. His father talked to him about a new movie he was going to produce, deciding to try his hand at sci-fi instead of horror for once. He listened earnestly to the plot, and to the ideas his father had for the movie. To his surprise, he even asked him for opinions on certain things. It felt good to be included in his father’s work, after all he did want to be a film producer, just like his dad. It reminded him of when they used to play baseball together.

                His mother chattered on idly, the way mothers do. She talked about everything: recent events, what she’d seen on the news that morning, the squirrel she almost hit driving to the store yesterday. For once he didn’t mind listening to it all. He didn’t feel so alone, and it kept his mind occupied. Still, a voice in the back of his head whispered to him constantly. _He’s not here._

Sometime around three a light rapping was heard from his door. Josh’s heart seemed to stop beating in his chest. The door inched open and a familiar face peered in.

                “C-Chris?” he choked out.

                “Hey man,” the blonde beamed. Josh couldn’t hold back the smile spreading across his face. Mr. Washington greeted Chris with a handshake and Mrs. Washington with a hug. His parents, seemingly reading his thoughts, left the room. His father said something about an important phone call and his mother was going down stairs to get coffee. Josh was thankful for a moment alone with Chris. Chris took the seat closest to his bed and pulled it even closer. “Hey, I-I’m sorry. I tried to come earlier but my mom was being over protective. You know how she gets,” he scratched at the back of his neck.

                _I know,_ Josh wanted to say. “I missed you,” he blurted out instead. Chris looked up, seemingly surprised. He could feel his face heating up. He tried to stammer out some sort of response but Chris cut him off.

                “Missed you too,” he smiled, looking around, “So how’re they treating you?”

                “Not too bad. I mean, it’s no five star hotel but…I manage,” he answered.

                “I see you kept my jacket. I thought I lost it or left it at the cabin,” Chris nodded to where it was lying crumpled up at the edge of Josh’s bed.

                “Didn’t think you’d miss it, you’ve got, like, twenty. Besides, it gets pretty cold in here,” Josh drawled. He couldn’t tell Chris it was the only thing getting him through the nights, but he didn’t have to. The look in Chris’ eyes said he knew.

                “I’ve been having trouble sleeping too,” Chris admitted, “But I’m glad to see you’re doing better. I was worried about you.”

                “You’re always worried about me,” Josh said. This brought a grin to Chris’ face.

                “Yea,” he breathed, “Only a few more days man. Then you can leave.”

                “Countin’ down the days,” Josh stretched back in his bed, “I’m ready to go home.” _Will you be there?_ He added in thought. Before Chris could say anything else his parents stepped back into the room, and for the rest of the time they had it was just the four of them.

 

                The remaining days seemed to fly by, but at the same time it felt like an eternity. His parents had arrived early that day with a change of clothes, already filling out all of the necessary paperwork. The doctors examined him one last time, and he spoke to Dr. Hill once more, setting up a schedule of appointments. Finally, he was free.

                Beaming, his parents led him out of the hospital. The people they passed stared at the scars forming on his face, but his parents’ happiness seemed contagious. He didn’t care, he was going home. Only one thing could make this better, he thought as he clutched Chris’ jacket tightly in his hands.

                When he stepped out of the doors the sunlight blinded him. Blinking rapidly, his eyes watered. After a moment he could make things out, and a smile flashed across his face.

                “Whew. Thought I’d be too late to see you off,” a familiar voice said. When his eyes adjusted he could see the boy standing in front of him. _He came._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to look up! Hopefully things won't fall back down, if you catch my drift :)

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry! It doesn't end here! This is merely the beginning, I assure you.  
> Also, sorry for the shortness. Future chapters will be longer, I promise.
> 
> I hope you enjoy and stay tuned for more!


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